“Oops.” is what the man must have said after he set off the false alarm.
The biggest oops in Hawaiian history and the more you learn about it the more ridiculous it gets.
For starters, the man who pushed the wrong button had been working for 10 years at his job, probably staring at the same computer keys. You’d think he’d know which one was the warning button.
after this employee of the year pushed the wrong key, telling everyone in the state they were going to be obliterated, he pushed a second button confirming the message.
Others joined in the fiasco that followed but it was one man’s mistake, we are told.
This computer genius then fumbled around for minutes before he woke up and said, “Hey, I pushed the wrong button, silly me.” Thousands from Kauai to Puna fleeing in terror while he’s staring dumbfounded at the screen.
Was it on purpose? Nah. After 10 years his fellow workers would have noticed he was a little off. But come on, folks, death threats to the poor schmuck? It was a mistake by an office worker. Let’s lighten up here, show some aloha.
The public information officer tells us,“The man feels terrible, as you can imagine.”After setting off the bomb scare of the century, we hope he feels a little badly.
But is he fired? Suspended without pay? Oh no, he was “re-assigned.” After he completely bungles everything in one office, they send him to another office. Now we’re getting down to the real Hawaii.
Speaking of getting real, there should not even be a warning system about this. So, the Big One’s coming. Your phone buzzes with a warning, what are you going to do? Swim to Alaska? Cling to a palm tree? Hide in the basement? Oh yeah, I forgot, there’s no basements in Hawaii.
You’d have 20 minutes to grab your Bible, your surfboard or your beer and that would be it. All pau.
The best way to prevent this disaster is to not think about it. Don’t send out the vibes that will create it. Don’t think the unthinkable.
We keep forgetting this is paradise, relax, take it easy.
The governor during his State of the State address hardly mentioned it, very wise. And while we’re at it, let’s forgive Gov. David Ige. He did his best at the time and took full blame. There’s real class.
But even with a warning system the whole thing was not the worker’s fault, it was the fault of the agency who put the warning system of the entire state on one single computer “option” for one person to click on.
There has to be safeguards.
Like in the movies, it’s supposed to be three scientists and a president, all sternly entering separate codes that set off the warning — not one computer key in the jittery hands of some careless worker.
Only in Hawaii, brudda, only in Hawaii.