Aloha friends and family. Yes, Waimea is such a wonderful place with warmhearted folks who care for our islands! Hope you were not too upset that we missed the column last week. Surely you had a good laugh each time you looked in the mirror!
My surgeon friend has a foolproof way to get her patents to pay before they leave her office. You pay your bill or you don’t get your clothes back!
General anesthesia is weird. You go to sleep in one room, then wake up four hours later in a totally different room. Just like in college … LOL!
OK, one more for we docs! A college physics teacher was explaining a particularly complicated concept to his class when a pre-med student interrupted him. “Why do we have to learn this stuff?” one young man blurted out. “To save lives!” the professor responded. A few minutes later, the student spoke up again. “So, how does physics save lives?” The professor stared at the student for a very long time without saying a word. Finally, the professor continued, “Physics saves lives because it keeps certain people out of medical school!”
OK, can’t leave my dentist friends out! Dentist: “I have to pull that aching tooth, but don’t worry it will take only five minutes.” Patient: “How much will it cost?” Dentist: “It’s $125.” Patient: “That much for just a few minutes work?” Dentist: “I can extract it very, very slowly if you like!”
My engineer friend ask his boss if he could get a raise, and the boss said, “Because of the fluctuational predisposition of your position’s productive capacity as juxtaposed to the industry standards, it would be monetarily injudicious to advocate an increment!” My friend replied, “I don’t get it!” The boss said, “That’s right!”
Two lawyer students were out mountain biking. One asked the other, “Where’d you get that cool bike”? His friend said, “It was really weird, but I was out exercising on the running trail the other day and a gorgeous girl coasted by on her bike. She stopped, watched me for a few minutes, jumped off her bike, and said, ‘I will undress and you can have anything you want!’” The first friend thought for a moment, then nodded approvingly and said, “Good choice! I doubt if the clothes would have fit!”
A little boy had been pawing over a stationer’s stock of greeting cards for some time when a clerk asked, “Just what are you looking for? A birthday greeting, a card for mom and dad, or a card for a sick friend?” The boy shook his head and answered, “Got anything like a blank report card?”
Something new! The old definition of a split-second was the time between the light turning green and when the driver behind you honks his horn. The new definition of a split-second is the time between when the commercial starts and your spouse/partner says, “You have the remote!”
Getting near time to close. This last one is a belly-whopper! I grew up living paycheck to paycheck. But through hard work, time and perseverance I now live direct deposit to direct deposit!
Have a great week folks! Do good deeds, and take care of Mother Earth! Be well … Aloha, a hui hou.