A-Blow-Ha! Yep, a very appropriate greeting for this week as I write.
Hope all of you also survived the heavy rains here in Kamuela! Did you remember to turn off your expensive county water? It all has me remembering a great street sign where I used to live in Honolulu. The sign said, “Wet When Raining!”
Now that I started, how about some other signs? … Library is closed until opening time! … Hung on an outdoor barbecue: Caution. Fire is hot … Painted on the bottom of a swimming pool: CAUTION. Wet Floor! At the same swimming pool, a sign at the entrance: Do not breathe under the water! Same swimming pool: WARNING. No swimming if you can’t swim! … A sign outside an office building: If door does not open, Do not enter! … and the grand finale: ATTENTION: Please make sure elevator is there before stepping in!
A study performed by an unknown source states that the following statistics for online daters: Men peak at 50. Women at 18. Now what are we supposed to do with the information?
At the entrance to a health food store was the following sign: Vegetarian is an old Indian word for bad hunter!”
A young child was questioning his mother as to just why he had to learn how to read. The child asked what reading was for and the mother told him, “It’s how people install new software into their brains!”
A police officer is talking to some fellow officers about a woman he pulled over that morning because her driving was erratic. He says he turned on his siren and she pulled over immediately, and when he approached the driver’s window she had it rolled down. He says he first asked “Any drugs? Any alcohol?” With a sweet smile she replied, “Thanks, I’ve got everything!”
A wife is sitting in bed one evening holding a strange object that looks like a small gun. With hesitation, the husband points to it and asks, ”What in the world is that?” The wife says with a smile, “It’s a Taser. It’s for your snoring!” Now you folks out there with a noisy partner, be careful!
Many of you will remember Groucho Marx. My favorite of his sayings was, “Whatever it is, I’m against it!” Howze that for a comedy response?
OK, new research shows that a compound found in red wine extends the life of obese mice. Sooooo, if you are not a fat mouse, it may not help!
For we wiser and older citizens: Does it upset you when asking for a senior discount in a store that the clerk doesn’t ask for your ID? Or, even worse, being given the senior discount without even showing your ID?
Let’s close with my favorite tweet from Bette Midler this week. “My fellow Americans: Rudy Giuliani is right! Truth isn’t truth! And climate change isn’t real, and Donald Trump isn’t president. Feels better already!”
Be well, do good deeds and laugh every day! Aloha … a hui hou.