Happy November! My head is still “sugar-loaded” from Halloween, even though I handed out so much more than I ate. Remember to wear that mask for the next week … well, as least until you go to vote! Only one quick political rant this week, and it is a tough one: Just 15 years ago the USA had Steve Jobs, Bob Hope and Johnny Cash. Now, we are left with no Jobs, no Hope and no Cash! I know, it ain’t funny, so let’s try for some real jokes!
A friend told me on Halloween that a woman asked her if she was wearing a costume for that evening. She replied, “Yes! It is the only night of the year I can wear a wedding dress without looking desperate!”
Grandpa was celebrating his 95th birthday and everyone complimented him on his fitness. “Folks, I will tell you the secret of my success,” he boasted. “I’ve been in the open air, day after day, for some 75 years now!” All celebrants were impressed and asked how he managed to do it. He replied, “Well, you see, my wife and I were married 75 years ago. On our wedding night we made a solemn pledge: “Whenever we had a fight, the one who was wrong would go outside and take a walk!”
Teacher: “OK class, let’s start by sharing our dreams. What’s your’s, David?” David: “My dream is to earn $20,000 a month like my dad!” Teacher: “Wow! Your dad earns that much?” David: “No ma’am, that’s also my dad’s dream!”
Silence is golden! Yes, unless you have children. If that is the case, then silence is very suspicious! Couple more shorties?
Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers? He will stop at nothing to avoid them! … Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens? All they said was: “Bach, Bach, Bach!” … C, E-flat and G walk into a bar. The bartender shows them the door and says, “Sorry, we don’t serve minors!” … and the most pathetic of all: A sign on the door at a music shop reads, “Gone Chopin. Bach in a minute!”
Now for a little history … The first testicular guard, “The Cup,” was used in hockey in 1874, and the first helmets were used in 1974! That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important! OK, now I will check under my hood before starting my car!
Time to close, my friends. Find the best in others, appreciate beauty, especially in nature, and leave the world a better place! Aloha, a hui hou.