Dear Annie: Last June, I retired from the company where I had worked for 25 years. This past January, I had an unfortunate accident that resulted in a broken foot and surgery on one ankle. I was in the hospital for four days and in a rehab facility for another month. During my convalescence, I kept in touch with co-workers by email, text and Facebook. I also told my sister where I was and how long I would be there.
My husband visited every day, and my 93-year-old father called frequently. I also heard from a sister-in-law, a niece, two neighbors and three out-of-state friends. However, you’d think with all the people I know, some of them would have made an effort to contact me. Since returning home, I’ve received exactly one Facebook message asking how I’m doing. What hurts the most is my sister has neither called nor come by.
I want to tell my sister how I feel, but my husband says to forget about it. I am still undergoing physical therapy, and my husband, who has his own limitations, has to lift a wheelchair out of the trunk every time he takes me anywhere. He does all of the household errands and grocery shopping, as well as emptying my bedpan. No one offers to help either of us.
I am so full of anger and dismay it is impacting my emotional recovery. What should I do? — Alone and Not Liking It
Dear Alone: We agree your sister is being unsupportive, but you are not “alone.” Focus on those who are in touch and helpful — your husband, your father, your sister-in-law, niece, neighbors and out-of-state friends. That’s more than many people have. And some folks have no idea you want help or what you need unless you tell them. Post recovery updates on your Facebook page, and say how much you appreciate any words of encouragement. Call your sister and ask (nicely) whether she could pick up some groceries for you. We hope, when given a specific opportunity to step up to the plate, she will come through.
Dear Annie: Does a person always need to confess an affair to their spouse — especially if it was brief and is now over, and the spouse has no idea it happened? — Feeling Guilty in Washington
Dear Guilty: Do you think your spouse could forgive you? Is there any chance the spouse could find out down the road? Might you have contracted an STD? (Don’t assume you haven’t. Get checked.) We urge you to talk about this with a counselor who can help you decide the best course of action and work on the issues that propelled you into having an affair to begin with to make sure it doesn’t happen again.
Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Email questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd St., Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit creators.com.
COPYRIGHT 2012 CREATORS.COM
