OK, let’s start with some very risky (note not risqué ) stuff. I may need a “spit guard” on my computer before the election in November, but here goes! There is an ad released by Priorities USA that goes after Trump for mocking disabled people. Yep, I saw it and had a feeling of nausea in my stomach. My only comment: The height of his ignorance! LOL, LOL.
A friend was telling me that her 60-year kindergarten reunion was coming up soon and she is very worried about the 175 pounds she’s gained since then!
Same friend, who by the way is very funny, then said, “You know, Doc, I’ve always wondered what the job application is like at Hooters. Do they just give you a bra and say, “Here, fill this out?!”
The speed with which a woman says, “Nothing,” when asked, “What’s wrong?” is inversely proportional to the severity of the sh— storm that is sure to come!
For you old-timers: The reason why Mayberry, the town from “The Andy Griffith Show,” was so peaceful and quiet was because nobody was married. Andy, Aunt Bea, Barney, Floyd, Howard, Goober, Earnest T Bass, Helen, Thelma Lou, Clara, and, of course, Opie were all single! The only married person was Otis, and he was hardly ever sober!
A teenager worked as a bagger for the local supermarket. One of the rules was that baggers could not accept tips when helping people take their groceries to their car. One day this young man was putting groceries in an old man’s car, and when he finished the man said, “Here, young man, I want you to have a picture of your Uncle George.” What it really was, of course, was a dollar bill. Thinking very quickly, the young man then asked, “Do you have any pictures of my grandfathers Ulysses and/or Benjamin?”
My friend couldn’t decide whether to go to Salt Lake City or Denver for vacation so he called the airlines to get prices. “Airfare to Denver is $300,” the cheery salesperson replied. “And what about Salt Lake City?” he asked. “Well, we have a really great rate to Salt Lake: $99,” she said, “but there is a stopover.” “Where?” my friend asked. “In Denver,” she replied. Duh!
Any of you looking for a new home — beware! “This house,” said the real estate salesperson, “has both its good points and its bad points. To show you I’m honest, I’m going to tell you about both. The disadvantages are that there is a chemical plant one block south and a slaughterhouse a block north.” “What are the advantages?” inquired the prospective buyer. “The advantage is that you can always tell which way the wind is blowing!”
One last one before we close … Money can’t buy happiness, but it keeps the kids in touch!
Aloha … a hui hou.
