Thanksgiving is this week, my friends! Yes, it is an emotional time. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they see only once a year! And then, some discover that once a year is way too often. OK, that’s the naughty for the day!
The Alzheimer’s Association continues to send me donation requests. I guess I just forget where I put their letters! An older retired doctor friend told me that the best thing about Alzheimer’s disease is you never have to watch reruns on TV.
Never hike alone in bear country! Always hike with someone you can trip and outrun!
A “jokester” was walking home in the night and decided to take a short cut through the cemetery. Three girls walked up to him and explained that they were scared to walk past the cemetery at night. So, he agreed to let them walk along with him. He said, “I understand. I used to get freaked out too when I was alive!” (Yep, they screamed and ran!)
OK, my health time for all you women readers: If you can’t afford a doctor, go to the airport. You’ll get a free X-ray and a breast exam, and if you mention Al-Qaeda, you’ll get a free colonoscopy!
A husband and wife had been arguing all day! They pass a herd of jackasses on the way to dinner. The wife said, “Relatives of yours?” The husband said, with a smile, “Yep … in-laws!” (… and then the fight began!)
Just as the graveside service ended, there was a distant lightening bolt accompanied by a loud burst of rumbling thunder! The old man looked at the pastor and calmly said, “Well, she’s there and it’s His problem now!”
A young man was bragging to his father. “I’m so proud of myself! I finished a jigsaw puzzle in six months, and the box says 2-4 years! (OUCH!)
Wife to husband: “Look at that drunk guy!” Husband: “Who is he?” Wife responds: “Ten years ago he proposed to me and I rejected him!” Husband smirks and says: “Oh wow, he’s still celebrating!”
You all tell me you love the shorties (you know, cause you can remember them!), so here goes: The length of a minute depends entirely on what side of the bathroom door you’re on! … A key ring is a handy little device that was invented so you could lose all your keys at once! … If the NASA scientists are so smart, why do they count backwards?
Time to close? You’ve all heard that it takes two mystery writers to change a light bulb! One to screw it almost all the way in, and a second to give it a surprise twist at the end!
Be well, my friends. Happy Turkey Day and share your blessings with those less fortunate! Aloha, a hui hou.
