He is a decrepit version of his former indestructible self, a beaten and battered prized fighter who looks sad and lost.
If you love football, you want to remember Rob Gronkowski the way that he should be remembered: Strong, powerful and leaping tall buildings in a single bound.
You want to see him crush poor saps unlucky enough to be assigned to tackle him in the open field. You want to see him chugging — and spiking — beers on a parade float. You want to witness his God-awful dance moves as he tries to pry a smile out of Lord Vader on the sideline.
Alas, that Gronk is gone, replaced by this prideful, wobbly 6-6, 268-pound dude plodding along like some tip-calculator-carrying resident of Del Boca Vista. His body is 29 going on 92. Watching him run around on the few fall Sundays that he’s actually available is cringe-worthy stuff.
He’s Bernie … and the weekend is nearly upon us.
The Patriot Way means one thing and one thing only: Gronk’s key card into the gates of The Evil Empire will be deactivated the minute this season ends.
It’s over for the best tight end of this generation.
The Patriots’ message to their lovable giant will be crystal clear in the coming months: Bag it, Gronk. You’re done here.
Although the 3-7 Jets, frankly, aren’t good enough to take anyone lightly, let alone an over-the-hill four-time All-Pro tight end with 77 career touchdowns, in the run-up to Sunday’s game at MetLife Stadium, they know the deal deep down: Gronk is a shell of his former self.
The hot tub that Gronk lounges in (with or without adult film stars) isn’t a time machine. His three-week hiatus to rest his balky back and ankle might provide momentary relief, but it won’t be sustainable.
Gronk’s body has simply undergone too much punishment. The last I checked, he had undergone nine surgeries — three on his back, four on his forearm and one each on his ankle and knee. That’s painful to think about let alone live through.
“When he plays, he’s Gronk,” Todd Bowles said. “Obviously, he’s been nicked up a little bit, but he’s a great player. You can’t say enough about the guy. And he shows it every time he’s out there.”
Only he hasn’t shown it every time this season.
Gronk, who has 29 receptions for 448 yards and just one touchdown in seven games, hasn’t looked like himself since the season opener. And he had about seven months to rest up for that game.
He hasn’t topped 100 yards or scored since a Week 1 win over the Texans. He’s 49th in receiving yards.
Gronk’s 3.7-catch, 54-yard average in his other six games isn’t scaring anyone.
“Gronkowski is Gronkowski,” outside linebacker Brandon Copeland said. “He’s a dangerous man when he’s on the field.”
Is he? History and your eyes tell two vastly different stories.
History reveals that Gronk will slip into a gold jacket one day. Hall of Famers Tony Gonzalez and Antonio Gates are the only tight ends with more career touchdowns than Gronk, who is the fifth fastest player at any position to reach 70 touchdown receptions.
Your eyes, however, reveal that this guy is toast. Watching Gronk trudge along a few weeks ago in Buffalo was just sad. He can barely move for Pete’s sake. He looks stuck in mud. He looks like he’s in pain.
“I think he’s itching to get back,” Brady told WEEI radio this week. “He’s a big difference-maker when he’s on the field. I hope he is out there, but we’ll see. It is up to the trainers and coaches and up to Rob to see how he feels.”
It’s blasphemous to Patriot Nation to even suggest that one of their most beloved players has lost his superpowers. They’re holding out hope for a miracle resurgence that simply isn’t going to happen.
Gronk should be respected, but he should no longer be feared. Those days are over … and aren’t coming back.
Bill Belichick knows it. That’s why he wanted to ship his damaged goods to former apprentice Matt Patricia in Detroit this offseason. Gronk admittedly killed the potential trade to the Lions, because he didn’t want to play for any quarterback other than Brady. The Patriots ultimately revised his contract to include about $4 million of additional incentives.
There’s literally a 0.00 percent chance that Gronk will make the $9 million base salary he’s scheduled to earn on the final year of his contract in 2019. The Patriots will save $10 million when — not if — he’s off the books.
“The game of football is fun when you’re feeling good,” Gronkowski said this summer. “If you’re not feeling good — I mean myself, I’ve asked many other players — you really don’t like the game of football. But if you’re feeling good, your body feels good, your mind feels good, the joy of playing the game of football is off the charts. But at the same time, if you’re not feeling good it can be awful.”
Injuries ravaged his body to the point where he evidently considered retiring this offseason to pursue professional wrestling and/or Hollywood. The WWE reportedly was interested in signing Gronk to a deal, but the money was a fraction of what he was making for the Patriots this season.
However, it only seems like a matter of time before Gronk will be trash-talking and flinging guys around in the squared circle, doesn’t it?
Hollywood also beckons. Sylvester Stallone has even counseled Gronk about the perks of action movie stardom. All of it makes perfect sense. Gronk killing the bad guys and delivering cheesy one-liners. It sure beats the alternative.
Yo, Adrian! Help! I’m stuck in quicksand.
