Mahalo to all of you who gave me interesting feedback regarding my comments last week about Trump and the Terrible Twos! LOL!! LOL!!
This first one is for my attorney friends…A stingy old lawyer had a terminal illness and was determined to prove the saying “you can’t take it with you” wrong!! After much thought he instructed has wife to go to the bank and withdraw enough cash to fill two pillowcases! Then he directed her to put the money in the attic directly above his bed. His plan was to reach out and grab the bags when he was ascending to heaven! Several weeks after his funeral, the wife was cleaning the attic and came upon the two pillow cases stuffed with cash! “Oh, that darn fool,” she exclaimed, “I knew I should have put the money in the basement!!”
Hints for handling things at home!! Joe had asked Bob to help him with some repairs for his deck at home. So, when they got to the door, Joe went straight to his wife, gave her a big hug and said how beautiful she looked. When it was dinner time, he complimented his wife on her cooking and again told her how much he loved her! Once Joe and Bob were out working on the deck again, Bob commented about how Joe treated his wife. Joe said he started about 6 months ago and it had revived their marriage! So, Bob thought he’d give it a go with his wife. When he got home, he gave his wife a big hug, kissed her and said how much he loved her! She burst into tears! He was confused and asked why she was crying. She replied that little Billie had fallen off his bike and had a twisted ankle…also, the washing machine was broken and had flooded the basement. NOW, you come home late and drunk!! …enough of that!! Some of my favorite shorties:
***How do you stop a bull from charging? **You cancel his credit card!!
***Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long?**Because it would be a foot!
***How does a rancher keep track of his cattle? **With a cow-culator!
***What is a bear with no teeth? **A gummy bear!
***How do you impress a female baker? **You bring her flours!
OK folks…just a few more and then I am done for da day!
***What kind of cheese is not yours? **Nacho cheese!
***How do you make a Swiss roll? **Push him down a mountain!
……and my all time favorite …
***What kind of music do mummies listen to? **Wrap music!!
Hope you’ve had some helpful therapy today…Be Well…Be Happy, Don’t Worry! Forgive yourself! Write yourself a note of compassion!
Aloha…a hui hou.
