Aloha all and hope this past week has been a great one. If not, then blame it on the crazy politics and warming circling our globe Earth.
Let’s start with some cute signs I saw this past week:
• Teach your kids about taxes. Eat 30% of their ice cream cones.
• Respect your parents. They passed high school without Google.
• Sign by a basket of eggs in the store: “Boneless chicken – 35c each.”
With no warning a husband says to his wife, “Honey, I’ve invited a friend home for dinner tonight.”
As expected, the wife is not happy. She says: “What? Are you insane? The house is a mess; I haven’t gone shopping; the dishes are dirty; and I don’t feel like cooking a fancy meal tonight!”
The husband replies: “I know all that!”
With an incredible look the wife says: “Why then did you invite your friend for supper.”
The husband sheepishly answers: “Because the poor fool is thinking about getting married!”
A few more about marriage from my happily married friend who loves to joke:
• I love being married! It is so great to find that special person you want to annoy for the rest of their life!
• In every good marriage it helps often to be a little deaf!
Now for some colorful sayings:
• It’s not whether you win or lose but how you place the blame.
• We have enough “youth,” how about a fountain of smart?
• A fool and his money can throw one heck of a party!
• Money isn’t everything, but it sure keeps the kids in touch!
And da best one:
• We are born naked, wet and hungry — then things get worse!
An older woman sees a friend at the mall and says to her, “You’re not going to believe this. I found an old lamp in my attic, rubbed it, and out popped a genie! The genie explained that they don’t give three wishes anymore, but he did offer me a choice between one of two wishes. He could give me a better memory or turn my husband into the greatest lover.”
“Wow, tough choice,” her friend says. “Which did you choose?”
“That’s the thing, I can’t remember!!”
Let’s close with a few favorite T-shirts sayings:
• TO ME, “DRINK RESPONSIBLY” MEANS DON’T SPILL IT.
• ELECT A CLOWN, EXPECT A CIRCUS.
And the Grande Finale:
• IF YOU’RE HAPPY AND YOU KNOW IT — IT’S YOUR MEDS!
Have a great week folks! Clean the community, do good deeds, and make a difference for someone you love! Aloha, a hui hou.