Aloha, Happy Father’s Day. As I think of this day, I think of my redneck Texas father who taught me so much about the value of laughter.
He never said much, but when he did it was so funny. He didn’t make fun of individuals, as he said that was not what laughter was about. He just had an amusing way of saying things. Like, “Your grandpappy has a mind like a steel trap, only one that has rusted and is plum shut!” My other most favorite was, “Sweetie, old is when ‘getting lucky’ means you can find your car in the parking lot!”
Thank you, Daddy Vernon, for all the love and wonderful life moments you shared with me!
Cute signs found in a library:
• Dinosaurs didn’t read. Now they are extinct!
• A display on a three tier table with empty book holders and a sign on the top that reads: please be patient. Our display on Procrastination will be up soon.
• Another sign with a photo of a cat with the message: “Please do not let the cat in! His name is Max and he is very nice but he thinks the books are his bathroom.”
• A section of the library is labelled “Mystery” and all the books are shelved with the spine pointed in … Yep, no can read the title or author.
• Sign at the front door of the library: “Come on in! We are never overbooked!”
Now some for all you married folks:
• Never laugh at your wife’s choices … you were one of them!
• If at first you don’t succeed, try doing it the way your husband told you!
• A wife made coffee for her husband and winked when she handed him the first cup. He admitted that he’d never been more scared of a drink ever!
• And the grande finale, every time you talk to your wife, you should remind yourself: “This conversation will be recorded for training purposes.”
What would we do without humor from our children?
• A woman was on a business conference call when her little girl came home on the school bus. She paused the call to ask her girl how was her school day. The girl responded, “Shhhh Mom, you go back to work. I have a list of things I want you to buy me with the money you’re making.” The kid was 6 years old!
You will love this one — A son walks up to his mom with his hands dangling under his chin, fingers spread out and wiggling.
Son says, “Mom, like my beard of testicles?”
Mom says, “What?”
Son replies, “My beard of testicles. I’m an octopus!”
Mom replies, “Tentacles kiddo, they’re called tentacles.”
Son says, “Yeah, that’s what I meant.”
We’ll close with this last one which is great advise for all of us.
A man is watching TV, holding the remote when the newsman on he TV begins giving the news of a tragic event in their town. The newsman ends the story with: “What can we do to stop living in fear?” The man watching TV holds up his remote and clicks “OFF”. Yep, smart man!
Hope you’ve had some therapy for the day and save the paper so you can re-read your favorites. Aloha, be happy/don’t worry … a hui hou.
Shay Bintliff, MD, writes a weekly column, Laughter Therapy, for West Hawaii Today. It used to run in North Hawaii News section, which is no longer printed.