Before you finish this today, I hope I will have a good LOL for the Fourth of July, but I have to do some research first.
While doing that, you can read this first one for all we scientists. You see, every now and then I put on my white coat, put my stethoscope around my neck and read. The latest of interest is a new study of marathoners, mice and their intestines. It found that strenuous endurance exercise by human athletes increases the numbers of certain bugs in their microbiomes, and that giving those bacteria to mice allows them to run longer. Now, for all you mouse owners, I thought you would find this somewhat amusing. Yes? No? NEXT!
In a business office next to the manager’s door was the following sign:
• A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A rabbit ask him: “Can I sit like you and do nothing all day long?” The crow answered: “Sure, why not!” So the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. Soon, a fox jumped on the rabbit and ate it. Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very high up!
Many of you ask for more “out of the mouths” so here are a few:
• “Give me a sentence about a public servant,” the teacher asks. The little boy wrote: “The firemen came down the ladder pregnant.” The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. “Don’t you know what pregnant means?” she asks. “Sure,” says the young boy confidently. “It means carrying a child!”
• When his grandson ask how old he was, grandpa teasingly said: “I’m not sure!” His grandson replied, “Look in your underwear, grandpa. Mine says I’m 4 to 6!”
A few more from the young ones? Always great!
• My friend’s 8-year-old daughter, in the cutest voice, asked her to start recycling. Mom chuckled and ask “Why?” Her little girl replied, “So you can help save the planet.” Mom chuckled again and asked, “And why do you want to save the planet?” Sternly the little girl said: “Because that’s where I keep all my stuff!”
• The teacher ask her class to use the word “fascinate” in a sentence. Molly put up her hand and said, “My family went to grandpa’s farm and saw all his sheep. It was fascinating!” The teacher says, “OK, Molly that was good but I wanted the word fascinate, not fascinating.” Sally then raises her hand and says: “We went to see Rock City and I was fascinated.” The teacher again says, “That was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word fascinate! Then Little Johnny raises his hand. The teacher hesitates because she has been “burned” by Johnny before. She finally decided that there was no way he could damage the word fascinate. Johnny then says, “My aunt Gina has a sweater with 10 buttons, but she is sooo big, she can only fassin-eight!”
The teacher sat down and cried!
Best we close with that one. Just remember, my friends, while creating wives, God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the world. And then he made the world round! Yep, God has a sense of humor!
Be well … pay it forward … Aloha, a hui hou.
Shay Bintliff, MD, writes a weekly column for West Hawaii Today