Aloha folks, it’s that time of the week. But, before I forget, a neighbor knocked on my door a couple late nights ago. I opened the door, concerned that it was quite late, and hoped there was no medical problem. She was quite calm when asking me this question about which she and her husband had been arguing. Are you all ready for this one? The really important question: Is chocolate healthy or not? Well, you’ll all have to tune in next week for the answer!
Some really funny signs:
• Roadway … Nofrickin’ way.
• The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret!
• As I am older I’ve learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing them off IS possible!
• On a coat hanger from the cleaners … Caution, do not swallow!
• On a swimming pool … Do not breathe under the water!
• On the side of a major highway … Beware of vehicles!
• On the door of a restroom: If it’s locked, someone is in there!
OK gentlemen, here are a number of ways you can know your wife is mad at you: She’s silent, she’s yelling, she acts the same, she acts different …and the grande finale … She goes out with her friends and leaves you at home. Ouch!
• Two kinda nerdy but very handsome male students meet on campus one day. One of them notices that the other is on a shiny new racing bike.
He calls to his friend,” Hey, nice bike. Where did you get it?
“Well,” replies the other, “I was walking to class the other day when this pretty young co-ed rides up on this bike. She jumps off and in a sexy voice says to me: ‘Hey, handsome, hello … you can have anything you want!’”
“Great choice,” says the first, bet she had no clue you don’t even date!”
• I changed my password to “incorrect” so whenever I forget it the computer will say, “Your password is incorrect.”
• Is it wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly?
• If tomatoes are technically a fruit, does that make ketchup a smoothie?
• And da best one … If you always keep both feet firmly planted on the ground, you’ll have trouble putting on your pants!
Yep, it’s time to close with some liners:
• Why can’t you trust trees … Because they are shady!
• Why did the golfer wear two pair of pants … In case he gets a hole in one!
• Why can’t fish play tennis? They’re very scared of the net!
• How does Moses make tea? Hebrews it!
And the grande finale …
• What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
Have a wonderful week, smile often, do good deeds. Aloha, a hui hou
Shay Bintliff, MD, writes a weekly humor column, Laughter Therapy, for West Hawaii Today.
