Now that the impeachment sham is behind us and we have a vision for our country in the State of the Union address…..it is time for some real laughter!
• Question: A friend asks his best buddy: What did our parents do before the internet when they were bored?
His friend responds: you know I wondered the same thing, so I ask my 26 brothers and sisters, and they didn’t know either! (I know you love the kinda naughty ones…)
• A man decides to surprise his girlfriend on her birthday. He shows up at her front door shirtless. She greets him with: “Why are you shirtless?” He just smiles and nods. Then she says: “and you are covered in some kind of oil!”
He responds: “Well, you know you always have said that I never glisten!”
She then laughs out of control and says: “No! You never listen! Listen!”
• Husband and wife are sitting together sipping their favorite wine and watching a movie on the TV. The wife, with a broad smile suddenly whispers: “I love you!”
The husband replies: “Is that you or the wine talking?”
The wife smiles and says: “It’s me…talking to my wine!”
• Time for a little Johnny joke : Little Johnny comes downstairs crying. His mother asks: “What’s the matter Johnny?”
“Dad was hanging pictures and just hit his thumb banging with the hammer,” said little Johnny through his tears.
His mother was touched by his sensitivity, but did not like seeing him cry. “That’s not so serious,” she tried to soothe him. “Now, I know you’re upset, but a big boy like you shouldn’t cry at something like that. That’s almost something to laugh
about.”
“But, I did,” sobbed Johnny.
• Now for some ‘one-liners’ that all of you love so much…well, at least you tell me you do…..
– How do you make a goldfish old? — You take away the ‘g’
– What do you call a fish with two knees? — A two-knee-fish.
– Why did the fish cross the road? — Because the chicken had the day off.
– Why don’t fish play basketball? — Because they are afraid of the net!
– Why are fish so smart? — Because they always are in schools!
• A man is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker is wearing an earring. He knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow, so is curious about his sudden change in fashion. The man walks up to him and and says: “I didn’t know you are into earrings.”
His friend responds: “Don’t make such a big deal out of this, it’s only an earring.”
His friend falls silent for a few moments but then his curiosity prods him to say: “So, how long have you been wearing one?”
His friend answers: “Ever since my wife found it in my truck!!”
Time to close my friends. Just remember — It doesn’t matter how often a married man changes his job. He still ends up with the same boss! Have a wonderful week, LOL often, give aloha to all. A hui hou.
