No jokes today about the ‘masked bandit’, or I would be checking under my hood before starting my car. Did he really wear one??? My only question is: since when is our President a doctor?? Now for some real humor!
After being married for 25 years, a wife asked her husband to describe her. He looked at her carefully, had her turn around, then said: “You are ABCDEFGHIJK”. “What does that mean”, she asked with suspicion. He says: “Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Foxy, Gorgeous, and Hot.” She beamed at him happily and said: “Oh, you are so amazing! But what about ‘IJK’?? “Oh, I’m Just Kidding!” The swelling in his eye is going down and his dentist has repaired his upper incisors! Careful men. ** Now some shorties….
**The buttons on my jeans have started social distancing from each other. Check yours!
**Felt something cold and wet on my arm! Darn mosquito used an alcohol wipe before biting me!
**My dog is so smart. He started barking at the door and when I got up to look outside, he ran back and stole a slice of my pizza. No one was at the door!! ….??one more
**Today my friend got her happy pills and her pissed off pills mixed up, called me in a semi-panic and said she had taken one of each. I told her not to worry, that she can now be pissed off and be happy about it!
Now for my ‘doctor favorite’ that you all love. A man is about to leave his doctor’s office after his annual checkup which, of course, concluded with a colonoscopy. As he reached the door the doctor was standing there to say farewell and was there anything else he could do for the patient. The man said: “YES!! Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there!!!
Ran into a friend recently who said she had a very important question for me. Of course I said yes! She then asked me if there was a way to donate FAT like you donate blood. How long did I laugh??
A small boy is sitting in the corner at home, having been put there by his mother. He says to the cleaning lady: “I’m gonna appeal this case all the way to Grandma!!” The lady gave him a cookie while Mom was out!
**What do you call it when a giraffe swallows a toy jet?? A plane in the neck.
**Cross a snake and a plane…you have a Boeing constrictor.
**What type of person doesn’t like pizza? A weir-dough.
**Why did the man go into the pizza business? Because he wanted to make some dough.
** ….now for the most difficult one….what do you call a French man flying a plane. A pilot!! DUH!!!
This last one is soooooo special for this day and time in our crazy lives. Do you know that awesome feeling when you get into bed very relaxed, fall right asleep, stay asleep all night, and wake up feeling refreshed and ready to take on the day? Yeah…me neither!!
As for me…due to isolation ,I finished 3 books yesterday. And believe me…that’s a lot of coloring!!
All of us should now know and understand why pets try to run out of the house when the front door opens!
So…with clean hands and your mask…GO!! Have a safe and healthy week! Aloha…a hui hou
