One thing is for sure…we need LOL’s in these trying times. Yesterday I went to the market and upon entering the lady at the door put her little hand thermometer on my forehead. What do those things do to your memory? I went in for macaroni and cheese and came home with three bottles of wine. Whoops?
Talk about paranoia…..it has reached absurd stages. **My friend sneezed in front of her laptop and the anti-virus started a scan on its own! **A former patient of mine e-mailed me a really serious question about wearing a mask. My response to her: “ You know, it took “click it” or “ ticket it” to get people to wear seat belts. My answer to your question: Maybe “Mask it” or “Casket” will work!!
Children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic Primary School for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note and posted it on the apple tray, “Take only one…God is watching!” Moving further along the lunch line was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. One child whispered to another: “Hey we can take all we want. God is watching the apples!” …now for some ’shorties’…
** I told my suitcases the there will be no vacation this year. Now I am dealing with lots of emotional baggage.
** Neighbor talking to me on a walk, “You know, when I see ads on TV with smiling, happy housewives using a new cleaning product. The only thing I want to buy are the meds they must be on. (Yep, I’m a Doc).
** Masks are the new Bra! They’re uncomfortable. You only wear them in public, and when you don’t wear one..everyone notices!!
** One of my most pet peeves is when someone acts all intellectual and talk about Mozart while they’ve never even seen one oh his paintings. (Gotcha!!)
** My partner didn’t order anything from Amazon last week …so, the UPS guy knocked on our door to see if we were okay. ??one more….You can never use ‘beef stew’ as a password. It is not stroganoff!
Now some from my doggie friends…**A very age Black Lab is resting on the family porch with his tongue hanging out. The small family poodle approaches him and the Lab says: “Please tell them not to walk me again! Surely they can find something to watch on Netflix or read a book. But tell them to leave me alone!!
After a few days of not going out, I saw someone I knew walking by on the sidewalk outside. I immediately ran to the window and started yelling to them. Now I understand my dog better.
**Some dog wisdom…If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains…If you can eat the same food every day and be grateful for it…If you can take criticism and blame without resentment…If you can relax without alcohol….if you can sleep without the aid of drugs…Then you probably are the Family Dog!
Lastly, I am challenging the Editor with this closure…..Handle every Stressful situation like a dog. If you can’t eat it or play with it, pee on it and walk away! Be well…Be safe…Aloha…a hui hou