Let’s start with some real quotes…Yep, I promise you they are real. Number 1: “Smoking kills. If you’re killed you’ve lost a very important part of your life”. Brooke Shields, during an interview to become the spokesperson for a federal anti-smoking campaign. Number 2: “I’ve never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body.”Univ. Kentucky basketball forward Winston Bennett. Number 3: “I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix.” Dan Quayle. Number 4 and da BEST: “It isn’t pollution that’s harming our environment. It’s the impurities in our air and water that are doing it!” VP Al Gore..
A personal share: I’ve been to a lot of places, but I’ve never been in Cahoots. Apparently you can’t go alone, you have to be in Cahoots with someone. I’ve also never been in Cognito either. I hear no one recognizes you there. I have, however been in Sane. They don’t have an airport, you have to be driven there. I have made several trips. How about you???
I like to make lists. I also like to leave them on the kitchen counter, and then guess what was on the list while in the store. Surely you’ve experience this at least once. ??Twice??
A doctor friend and I meet for coffee . He gets excited as he starts to tell me how to test yourself for Coronavirus. Step1: Pour a glass of wine and try to smell it. Step 2: If you can smell the wine, then drink some and see if you can taste it. Step 3: If you can smell and taste it, you can confirm that you don’t have Coronavirus. Last night I did the test 9 times and all were negative, Thank the angels!
Tonight I’m going to take the test again, because I woke up this morning with a headache and feel like I’m coming don with something. Oh yes, I am nervous! Now for some one-liners….
**Practice safe eating…always use condiments! **I want to grow myown food but I can’t find bacon seeds.**If you think education is costly…try ignorance! **I just did a weeks worth of cardio after walking into a spider web.**The past, present and future walk into a bar. It was tense! **Frog parking only. All others will be toad. ..and the grande finale…**This is my stepladder. I never knew my real ladder.
**Can you identify with a few of these??? **You never realize how antisocial you are until there’s a pandemic and your life doesn’t really change that much! **Education is important but opening the pubs is more importanter. ** and the grande finale…Sign outside the community park swimming pool.
“ Swimming pools to re-open from July 4th, but due to continued social distancing regulations, there will be no water in lanes 1, 3 & 5.
Last one for all you who are traveling. After a particularly rough landing during a thunderstorm, a flight attendant on a Northwest flight announced: “Please take care when opening the overhead bins because sure as hell everything has shifted after a landing like that!!” Be well, be safe..Aloha, a hui hou
