Hope you don’t need a mute button while reading our column today. More about that much later .
Important stuffs first. Did you know that smiles are Fat-Free, Sugar-Free, reduce your blood pressure,
help relieve pain and depression, require no batteries, and absolutely free of cost. So..KEEP SMILING!!
Enough medical advice…Husband to wife…who do you like better? A smart guy or a handsome
guy? Wife responds: Neither…I only like you! …and did it then begin???
Man to his friend…”yesterday my wife ran off with my best friend!!” The friend responds: “with who??”
The man answers: “Mike!!” “Since when is Mike your best friend?” “Since yesterday!!”
My dog is talking to our neighbor’s dog while pointing to me. “You know, if I poop in the house
she looses her mind in anger. But, when I poop outside, she cheers me on, bags it and then brings
it inside! Am I missing something??”
A five year old student, learning to read, points at a picture in a zoo book and says: “Look at this! It’s
a fricken elephant!! The teacher took a deep breath and asked, “what did you call it?” “It’s a
fricken elephant “, the student responds, “it says so right here on the picture.” The teacher looked
again and yep that was on the picture. ‘African Elephant’!!
OK, now that we have the animal-for-the-day….**What is an elephant’s favorite sport? SQUASH!
**What’s an elephant’s secret talent? They are great at multi-tusking! **What do you call an
elephant the never gets clean? A smelly-phant. ??another animal?? **Why did the detective
duck get promoted? Because he quacked the case! **What do you get when you put 4 ducks
in a box? A box of quackers! ….and **What steps do you take when you see a tiger running for
you?? BIG ONES!! Hope you are laughing now!
Guess who I bumped into on my way to the optometrist? Who?? Everyone!!! ***OK folks…shout
out to everyone who can still remember their childhood phone number, but can’t remember
the password they created yesterday. YES…it has happened to us all!!!
Has this happened to you??? My good friend is moaning about what her doctor told her at her
last visit. “You must watch your drinking”, he said. So, she tells me..”No sweat! I just moved
my bar in front of my mirror.” (No, my friends…don’t try it!!)
My editor may be amused at these ‘pick up lines’…we will see. **Are you a bank loan? You sure
have my interest! **If I were a transplant surgeon, I’d give you my heart! **Your hand looks very
heavy. Here, let me hold it for you! **Well, here I am….what were your other two wishes?
…..and the grande finale…Man to woman at the bar…Pardon me, did you get your license
suspended for driving so many guys crazy?
Remember that you hold the absolute MUTE BUTTON. REMEMBER TO VOTE!!
Be Well..Wear that MASK…Aloha…a hui hou
