What happened to the signs?
Thank you for printing the map with dates of lava flows for Mauna Loa. I remember a time when you could drive down the highways and see signs dating each flow. Wouldn’t that be great to see this signs back so all could learn how special our island is?
Steve Kaiser
Kona
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‘Tis the season
Isn’t it time at long last to ask the unpleasant question that has been in the back of our minds since our parents first told us about Christmas? Is Santa Claus a crook? Let’s look at the facts.
He restricts his workforce to elves. This must be one reason he is located at the North Pole, outside the legal jurisdictions that would require equal employment opportunity. And don’t even ask about the work hours! Or weekends. Or holidays!
And where does he get the materials to make all those free toys? Somebody has to be paying for them. It doesn’t take the mind of a genius to suspect some kind of connection between Santa and the Mattels, Hasbros, and Wham-os of this commercial world.
Ever notice how each Christmas, there is always one toy that’s a must-have? And each year it’s conveniently a different one. Think any kid wants a Tickle Me Elmo this year? Or a Chia Pet? It can’t be just a coincidence that suddenly each year thousands of Santa impersonators show up to encourage kids to tell their parents that they absolutely must have that one special toy or they will feel unloved.
Further, FedEx, UPS, and USPS have to be in on this scheme. Who’s going to believe an old elf, no matter how jolly, can deliver all those goodies by rooftop around the world? Nobody. But who does perform that kind of work every week of the year? FedEx, UPS, and USPS. How did we miss this obvious connection?
Finally, look at all those endorsements Santa is involved with. Somehow he convinced even close competitors like Coke and Pepsi, or Mercedes-Benz and BMW, to sign him without a no-compete clause. No need to ask where Santa gets all the money to run his one-night-a-year scam.
And what about Santa’s income? Who can look at his tax returns? The IRS doesn’t cover the North Pole. All that money. No watchdog. Tax free!
Let’s investigate!
John Sucke
Waimea
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