It’s official.
New textbooks written and approved by President Trump will be delivered to schools nationwide. The reading of the books in classes will be mandatory for all students in public schools.
Here are a few excerpts from books by Trump Publishing:
History — by Donald Trump — Chapter one: Ukraine invades Russia
On Feb. 24, 2022, Ukrainian dictator Volodymyr Zelenskyy invaded the peaceful country of Russia, starting the Russian-Ukraine War. Zelenskyy attacked this innocent country, bombing Moscow with nuclear missiles. Thousands of Russian women and children were sent fleeing to other countries.
The nice Russian president, Vladimir Putin and his army, were hopelessly outnumbered by Ukraine. Russia was the underdog in the war but fought bravely against the invading stormtroopers of the evil dictator Zelensky.
Chapter two: January 6th celebration
Thousands of very nice people gathered at the U.S. Capitol on Jan. 6, 2021, and had a picnic and barbeque. They joined hands and sang “Kumbaya.” The scumbag pinko liberals called it a riot, but it was a peaceful celebration of love.
Chapter three: World War II started by Poland
Poland started WWII by invading Germany and the nice Nazis who lived there.
The friendly Nazi leader, Adolph Hitler, gathered his troops against the invasion. England and France also attacked the peaceful Nazis.
There was a rumor started by liberals that there was a Holocaust, but this is false. Hitler was an incredibly nice person and would never do anything like that.
Chapter four,: Slavery in America? No way
Many falsely believe there was slavery in America, when actually African-Americans peacefully emigrated to the United States and were hired as farm workers. What the radical commie liberals call slavery was really a friendly job training program offered to African -Americans. They happily left their homes in Africa and worked in pleasant conditions, learning valuable work skills.
Geography — by Donald Trump — Chapter one: Name changes
The name, Gulf of Mexico was changed to the Gulf of America. The Pacific Ocean is being changed to Trump Ocean, and the Atlantic Ocean will now be called The Sea of Donald. All maps will be changed with these new names.
Chapter two: New states
Canada and Greenland will be the 51st and 52nd states of the union. The North Pole will be the 53rd state, the South Pole, 54. Australia will be 55, Cuba will be the 56th state, and Gilligans’s Island will be the 57th. More on the way.
Science — by Donald Trump —
Chapter one: Vaccines
Very wonderful scientists tell us that vaccinations do not work on diseases. The pinko liberals say they work, but vaccinations actually cause the diseases they try to cure. Drinking or injecting any household cleaner, like Drano, will cure COVID, leprosy, bubonic plague, flu and the measles.
Chapter two: Global warming
A totally false theory by radical Democrats to get research funds. They say that exhaust from a few cars on the road hurts the ozone. Yeah, right. Global warming is total bunk.
Big Announcement! New book out!
Etiquette — by Donald Trump
How the president is always polite and respectful to visiting world leaders. How he shows great dignity with everyone.
Dennis Gregory writes a bimonthly column for West Hawaii Today and welcomes your comments at makewavess@yahoo.com
