Dear Annie: The facts about tobacco use are startling. Every day, nearly 4,000 kids under the age of 18 try their first cigarette, and another 1,000 become regular smokers. To hook kids, tobacco companies spend billions of dollars each year targeting kids like me with advertising near schools and malls, and they even alter these deadly products to look and taste like candy! They also oppose efforts to make it more difficult for kids to obtain cigarettes, like tobacco tax increases and smoke-free laws.
With almost 20 percent of high school students being current smokers, we need a change, and it needs to be both youth-led and adult-supported. Cigarette companies cannot survive unless kids smoke, so I am thankful to be working with the Campaign for Tobacco-Free Kids as a young advocate to fight to reduce tobacco use and its devastating consequences on youth.
Your readers can get involved by visiting tobaccofreekids.org to learn more about what is being done in their community and how they can help. — Judy Hou, age 17, volunteer at Y Street, The Virginia Foundation for Healthy Youth, Richmond, Va.
Dear Judy Hou: Many thanks for your terrific letter. We hope it will inspire readers to become involved, as well as convince others not to take that first puff. Smoking kills, and it can harm those around you. If you already smoke, please quit. It doesn’t make you cool. It makes you stink.
Dear Annie: My friend “Steve” has been married for 10 years. Six months ago, he had an affair. The other woman became pregnant, so Steve left his wife. But within a few months, he realized he had made a terrible mistake. The new girlfriend was verbally abusive and controlling and interfered with his relationship with his other children. He finally ended things and returned to his wife.
Now the Other Woman is refusing visitation with the new baby. Steve and his wife have hired an attorney to fight this. I know Steve has tried very hard to put his life back together and wants to do the right thing. But I was disheartened to see the new mother badmouth him on Facebook, calling him a deadbeat dad and telling horrible lies about his family. Steve pays regular child support and has already added the baby to his insurance. Meanwhile, throughout her pregnancy, this woman drank and smoked, even though Steve pleaded with her to take better care of herself.
This is a small community, and I am appalled that she has dragged Steve’s name through the mud. It is affecting his children at school. I worry about this woman raising a child. Steve thinks he has to accept the public bashing because he cheated. Is there any way to get his side of the story out there? — A Friend
Dear A Friend: This is what friends are for. Feel free to refute the lies when the opportunities present themselves. But we caution you not to say unkind things about the Other Woman. Steve has his hands full, and there’s no reason to make the woman more defensive and angry than she already is.
Dear Annie: This is in regard to the letter from “California,” whose stepdaughter’s children keep playing with their iPhones during dinner.
I had this problem with my sister. During dinner, she kept playing with her phone, so I snapped a photo of her with my iPhone and sent it to her with a text message: “Having a great time. Wish you were here!” She laughed and put her phone down, and we had a nice visit. — Iowa
Dear Annie: A friend and I met at a restaurant to have dinner with a few close family members. One of the attendees is an insulin-dependent diabetic. Just after ordering, while seated at the table, this person raised his shirt and injected himself in the stomach with insulin. It was unexpected and not the dining experience my friend and I expected to share.
I will be dining out with this person later this summer. What should I do or say to avoid a repeat of that unappetizing start to a meal? — Lost My Appetite
Dear Lost: Unless these things can be done so discreetly no one notices, it is best to inject insulin, insert contact lenses, brush hair, floss teeth, repeatedly blow one’s nose, apply makeup, etc., in the restroom instead of subjecting your tablemates to your personal requirements. Some diabetics find this enormously inconvenient (and we can’t blame them if the restrooms are unclean) and expect others to be tolerant. If your friend is one of those, we suggest you either avert your gaze and make the best of it, or tell the others to go ahead and order because you’ll be arriving late.
Dear Annie: I was compelled to respond to “Worried Mom,” who complains about her 22-year-old son’s antisocial behavior while he is studying for the MCAT.
I remember very well studying for the MCAT. I spent every waking hour of the weekends at the library so I would not be disturbed. I studied nonstop all week. My friends worried when I left events after only 30 minutes. My parents saw me rarely.
The MCAT is a purposefully difficult exam. It weeds out those who are not serious about medicine as a career. Doctors sacrifice their personal lives for their patients. I recommend the parents do their son a huge favor and leave him alone. If he doesn’t get into medical school because of insufficient study, he will forever regret his laxity. — M.D. and a Happily Married Mother of Two
Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column.
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