Too much Olympics? Never! Too much Trump? Getting mighty close. I am just so thankful for the Olympics pushing Trump off the front pages and newscasts at least for a little time! Big breath … bigger sigh. Now for the LOLs we all need!
Two friends are playing golf and are on the first green about to putt. One man says to the other, “Hey Kimo, isn’t that a new putter you have there?” Kimo replies, “Yep, it’s a newbie!” His friend then asks, “So, what happened to your old one?” Kimo says, “Oh, it couldn’t swim!”
Yes, some of you know that golf is one of my favorites, so here’s a bit more. Golf can best be defined as an endless series of tragedies obscured by the occasional miracle, followed by an ice-cold bottle of beer. Golf is said to be like marriage: If you take yourself too seriously, it won’t work, and both are too expensive!
Next is a story close to home for me … A 67-year-old woman had a heart attack on a plane and the stewardess announced to all passenger “Is there a doctor on board? We have an emergency!” Fifteen people stood up. They were on their way to a cardiology conference in San Francisco. Yep, the woman survived!
A small boy is walking with his dad one evening and says to him, “Dad, did you know that in other countries you don’t know who your wife is until you get married?” The father smiles and responds, “It’s like that everywhere, son!”
Couple shorties? Why did the cows return to the marijuana field? It was the pot calling the cattle back! … A mother bird and her baby bird are sitting on a high wire. The baby bird keeps poking his mother with his claw. The mother finally responds, “OK, just hold it until we find a parked car!”
Did you know? Sept. 12 is Conception Day in Russia. Couples get a day off from work specifically to … uh … to … uh … well, I know you know even if you are not Russian!
A bookseller conducting a market survey asked a woman, “Which book has helped you most in your life?” The woman replied, “My husband’s checkbook!”
A prospective husband finds a sales clerk in the bookstore and asks, “Do you have a book called, ‘Husband…Master of the House?’” The sales lady responds, “Sir, fiction and comics are on the 2nd floor!”
My senior citizen friend was telling me about his perspective of Facebook. “You know,” he says, “I am trying to make friends outside of Facebook while applying the same principles. Therefore, every day I walk down the street and tell passersby what I have eaten, how I feel at the moment, what I have done the night before, what I will do later and with whom! I give them pictures of my family, my dog and of me gardening, taking things apart in my garage, watering the lawn, standing in front of landmarks, driving around town, having lunch and doing what everybody does every day. I also listen to their conversations, give them ‘thumbs up’ and tell then I like them. And it works just like Facebook! I already have four people following me: Two police officers, a private investigator and a psychiatrist!
Be well … be happy … don’t worry! Aloha … a hui hou.