Guess many of you are still struggling with a decision about who you’ll vote for, yes, for what else but President? Let me make it easy for you: Take a favorite old antique coin and just flip it! If it lands on “heads,” well that is obvious. Who has the craziest hairdos on his head? Now, if it lands on tails, is that really “tails” or “tales?” Guess we know who has told some of the best tales. OK, friends, your work is cut out for you. If you don’t like the first flip, then you do best two out of three! Best of luck to you and have some “calming juice” very close by, or some LOLs will work!
Lots of good feedback about the “blondes” so let’s try another … A lady from Honokaa calls Delta Airlines and asks, “can you tell me how long it’ll take to fly from Kona to San Francisco?” The agent replies, “Just a minute please.” “Thank you,” says the blonde and hangs up!
Lady talking to her doctor at her annual check up: “What I am worried about is my height and not my weight!” Doctor replies, “How come?” Lady: According to my weight, my height should be 7 feet and 8 inches. Yes, quite a few of us have that problem! Now, howze about some Texas stuffs?
The following are signs seen around my second favorite state, ”It’s a Texas Thang.” … Highway sign near El Paso: Absolutely nothing next 22 miles! … Don’t mess with Texas! We enjoy gun fights, it’s a Texas tradition! And we have 120 prisons. Enjoy your stay! … Please do not pet the animals, including the rattlesnakes! … And last, from my friend Ann Richards, former Governor: ”I thought I knew Texas pretty well, but I had no notion of its size until I campaigned it!” OK, one more road sign: The fact that there’s a Highway to Hell and only a Stairway to Heaven Stairway says a lot about anticipated traffic numbers!
The following were seen in a psychiatrist office: Sometimes I sit quietly and wonder why I’m not in a mental asylum. Then I take a look around and realize maybe I already am! … I speak my mind because it hurts to bite my tongue all the time! … One more? … Don’t confuse my personality with my attitude. My personality is who I am, my attitude depends on who you are! Back to Texas?
A friend of mine has two tickets for the 2017 Super Bowl in Houston. He purchased nonrefundable box seats, plus airfares and rented a fully furnished apartment with unlimited limo service for three days. What he didn’t realize is the game is on the same day as his wedding. Soooo, he can’t go! If any of you readers are interested and want to go instead of him, it’s at St. Paul Cathedral Church at 5 p.m. Her name is Brenda. She will be the one in a white lace dress!
My friend told me a real one about the day her housework-challenged husband decided to wash his favorite sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted at her, “What setting do I use on the washing machine?” “It depends,” she replied, “ What does it say on your shirt?” He yelled back, “Just do it!” … almost time to close as it’s a “shortee” today.
We “normal people” believe that if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain’t broke, it doesn’t have enough features yet!
Be well, my friends, do good deeds, and be grateful for all your loving friends and family! Aloha … a hui hou.