The season is here and I am certain most of you have boxes and bags all over your house from Black Friday. Interesting name for such a day … maybe Green Friday would be better … think about it!
Did you hear about the new computer Apple has developed? It is small enough to be carried in a fanny pack. It will be called the Macintush.
Mel’s son rushed in the door after school shouting, “Dad! Dad! I got a part in the school Christmas play!” “That’s terrific,” Mel said proudly. “What part is it?” “I play the part of the dad in a family Christmas play!” Mel thought this over, and then said to his son, “You go back tomorrow and tell the teacher in charge that you want a speaking role!”
Do you ever wonder why the IRS calls it Form 1040? Well, it’s because for every $50 you earn, you get $10 and they get $40! Ouch! … next one for you serious business folks.
An executive was called for jury duty, and it looked like he might get chosen for a case that could drag on for some time. He asked the judge to excuse him. “We’re very busy at the office,” he explained. “I can’t afford to stay away for an extended period!” “I see,” said the judge, “you’re one of those businessmen with an exaggerated opinion of yourself. You’re convinced that your company just can’t function without you. Is that right?” “No, your honor!” he replied. “I know they can get along without me. I just don’t want them to find out!
Kimo had been listening to his sister practicing her singing. “Sis,” he said, “I wish you’d sing Christmas carols.” “That’s nice of you, Kimo,” she responded. “Then I’d only have to hear you once a year!” he retorted.
A man walks into the barbershop, sits down in the chair and the barber asks, “How do you want your hair cut?” The man says, “I would like the sideburns one high and one low, a few long hairs sticking out of the back, and a few chunks on the side and top.” The barber looks puzzled and says, “I’m not sure I can do that.” The customer says, “Well, why not … you did it that way the last time!” … and then the fight begins …
Couple more LOLs … then I go surfing! The father of five children had won a toy at a raffle. He called his kids together to ask which one should have the present. “Who is the most obedient?” he asked. “Who never talks back to mother? Who does everything she says?” Five small voices answered in unison, “Okay, dad, you get the toy!”
And for all my golfing buddies, this last one: After the honeymoon, the newlywed tells her husband, “I think it’s time for you to stop playing golf. In fact, you might as well sell all of your clubs!” The husband replies, “You’re starting to sound like my ex-wife.” His wife says with a shocked expression, ”I thought you said you’ve never been married before.” The husband says, “I haven’t.” Ouch …
And dat’s it for today my friends! Aloha … a hui hou.