Here are a few great LOLs for we seniors! You can still laugh even if you are not a senior. Catch yourself taking to yourself when no one is around only to look up and realize your neighbor is looking at you strangely! Of course, if talking to yourself is the only way to get the answers you want to hear, it just might be worth it! Yep, this has happened to us all.
Pulling your car into the garage, you hit the button to close the door. Hearing a soft thud, you discover the door is now resting on the rear bumper. How many times?
A good friend was sharing with me about her husband telling her that he had taken up weight lifting. Somewhat shocked, she exclaimed, “Good for you, honey, I know you want to stay healthy!” He then said, “Look, I’ll show you!” He then stood up from the sofa, then sat back down, then stood up several times, all while watching TV! (Might give some of you an idea?)
A man is telling the story of leaving a box of crackers in the passenger seat of his car in a campground parking lot while on vacation. The next day he discovered that a bear thought they were really delicious! After a $1,500 new door he was then ready to continue his vacation!
Several friends I met at the coffee shop one day asked me to put some more boat names in my column. So, for you guys, here they are: Seas the Day … The Cod Father … Campbell Sloop … Yeah Buoy … Cirrhosis of the River … Naughty Buoy … and the grand finale … Fish and Chicks!
The optimist says, “The glass is half full.” The pessimist says, “The glass is half empty.” The rationalist says, “This glass is twice as big as it needs to be. So, fill it up!” Now that makes it clear as glass!
A New York boy is being led through the swamps of Louisiana by his cousin. “Is it true that an alligator won’t attack you if you carry a flashlight?” asks the city boy. His cousin replies, “It depends on how fast you carry the flashlight!”
A young rabbi was an avid golfer. Even on Yom Kippur, the holiest day of the year, he snuck out by himself for a quick nine holes. On the last hole he teed off, and a gust of wind carried his ball directly over the hole and it dropped in for a hole in one! An angel who witnessed this miracle complained to God, “This guy is playing golf on Yom Kippur and you cause him to get a hole in one! This is punishment?” “Of course it is,” said the Lord, smiling, “Who can he tell?”
One more for all of my Jewish friends? Two women are sitting on a park bench. After a while the first women says, “Oy!” The second woman replies, “Oy!” The first woman then says, “All right, enough about the children!”
Yes, I know, we now have a new President! So, I have to be really naughty! A pervert, a con artist and a fascist walk into a bar. The Bartender says: “What’ll it be, Mr. President? (Yep, and I am running to hide!)
See you next week … Be well … Aloha … a hui hou.