How did you celebrate “President’s Day?” Think about it! Now, real LOLs!
Just to remind you that I have OCD: Old, Cranky and Dangerous! Haven’t been able to find a legitimate medication to cure it, so I just have an extra dessert or VitaminW!
Do you feel inadequate when talking to the experts? A friend of mine told me he was embarrassed when talking with a mechanic, so when his car started making a strange noise, he sought help from a friend. He drove the car around the block, listened carefully and then told him how to explain the difficulty when he took it in for repair. At the shop my friend proudly rested, “Timing is off, and there are premature detonations, which might damage the valves.” As he smugly glanced over the mechanic’s shoulder, he saw the mechanic write on his clipboard. “The owner says it makes funny noise!”
Now for a father-son one. Father: “Son, today is your exam. If you fail, that’s it, don’t ever call me your father again. Got it?” Son: “Okay, Dad! I’ll do my best.” Now, after the exam: Father: “So, how was the exam? Son: “Sorry sir, do I know you?”
The attorney tells the accused, “I have some good news and some bad news!” “What’s the bad news?” asks the accused. “The bad news is your blood is all over the crime scene, and the DNA test prove you did it!” “What’s the good news?” “Your cholesterol is 130!” OK, I know it is borderline, but it’s medical!
For all you Waimea ranchers, here’s a great one … A rancher asked the vet to come out to check on his favorite bull who wasn’t doing well at all. After checking the bull’s vital signs, the vet reached in his black bag and pulled out a very large pill. He forced open the bull’s mouth and crammed the pill down his gullet. Suddenly the bull jumped up and took off like a banshee, jumping every fence in his way. The vet exclaimed, “Well, looks like your bull is healed!” The rancher replied, “Now give me one of those pills. I’ve gotta catch him!”
For you doggie people, here’s a great one! Poodle: “My life is a mess. My owner is mean, my girlfriend is leaving me for a German Shepherd and I’m nervous as a cat.” Collie: “Why don’t you go see a psychiatrist?” Poodle: “I can’t. I’m not allowed on the couch!”
Have a wonderful week, do kind deeds and be positive! Aloha … a hui hou.