Open your joke books, my friends, because today’s article is going to be short! It has just been one of those days … and I am not going to elaborate.
A teacher was teaching English to high school freshmen, and Friday was “dress down” day. She came to school wearing a college sweatshirt and jeans. A student took a look and with wide eyes said, “Wow! You should wear jeans everyday. You look 20 years younger!” The math teacher saw that Lani wasn’t paying attention in class. She called on her and said, “So, Lani, what are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44? Lani quickly replied, “ABC, CBS, HBO and the Cartoon Network!” (Where are our children most of the time when home?!)
Mary’s dishwasher quit working so she called the repairman. She had to go to work, so she told the repairman that she would leave the key under the mat. She instructed him to fix it, leave the bill on the counter and she would mail a check. She then said, “Don’t worry about my bulldog. He won’t bother you. But, do not talk to my parrot.” She then repeated, “Do not talk to my parrot!” When the repairman arrived at her apartment he discovered the biggest, meanest looking bulldog. But the dog was quiet and just sat there on the carpet watching the man do his repairs. The parrot, however, drove him nuts the whole time with his incessant yelling and name calling. Finally the repairman could not contain himself and yelled, “Shut up!” To which he parrot replied, “Get him, Spike!”
A woman, feeling very listless, bought some expensive “brain-stimulating’ pills at the health food store. It was not until she got home that she read the label. “This is just rosemary extract,” she complained to her husband. “I can’t believe I spent all that money for some rosemary that we have growing wild in the yard!” “See?” he said. “You are smarter already!”
A couple more? Yesterday at a job interview a man filled his glass of water until it overflowed on the office desk. The interviewer asked, “So, you a little nervous?” The man replied, “No, I always give 110 percent!”
And the grand finale … Everyone has a photographic memory. The difference is that some do not have any film!
Aloha my friends … be well … To laugh everyday, look in the mirror! Aloha, a hui hou.