Let’s begin with one left over from last week … Kyle and Kimo were about to eat with their babysitter when 6-year-old Kyle said, “You can’t sit in Daddy’s seat.” The baby sitter replied, “But your Daddy’s not home and I am responsible for you while he’s gone. So, I can sit here today because I’m the boss!” Kimo, the 4-year-old, quickly piped up, “If you’re the boss, you sit over there in Mommy’s chair!”
Hope you all had a wonderful Mother’s Day and are ready for some LOLs! Yes, I promised myself no political stuff. Guess they all are jokes and if you read the news you’ve had some LOLs already, like the letter released by Trump’s lawyers sayings tax returns show no Russian income or debt. How about the $95 million paid by a Russian billionaire for a Trump-owned estate in Florida? Enough?
This next one is a bit long, but stay with me folks … The new union boss walks into a bar next door to the factory and is about to order a drink when he notices a guy close by wearing a “Trump for President” button. He does not have to be Einstein to know that this guy is a Republican, so the union boss shouts to the bartender, “Drinks for everyone, but not for the Republican.” The drinks are handed out and the Republican smiles and says, “Thank you!” This infuriates the union boss, so he waits awhile then shouts again, “Drinks for everyone except the Republican,” pointing to the man. This happens twice more! Finally, the union boss says to the bartender, “What the h—- is the matter with that Republican? I have ordered three rounds of drinks for everyone in the bar except him! All he does is smile and says, ‘Thank you!’ Is he nuts?” “Nope,” replies the bartender. He owns the place!”
My friend says to me with some anxiety, “Everywhere I go I keep hearing about Bluetooth! So, I finally went to my dentist and asked, “What’s the best way to prevent it?”
A homeowner phones a plumber when her husband cannot fix the sink. “Can you come over and fix my kitchen sink?” she says on the phone. The plumber replies, “You know I am always at your disposal!”
A mother is talking to her friend over coffee and says in exasperation, “I have lost my mind! And I’m pretty sure my kids took it!” Sound familiar?
One you can all appreciate because you have one … When a male customer left his cell phone in a store, the clerk scrolled through his saved numbers, stopped at “Mom” and pushed send. His mother answered, and he told her what had happened. “Don’t worry,” she said, “I’ll take care of it.” A few minutes later, the cell phone rang. It was Mom. “Martin,” she said, “you left your cell phone at the convenience store!”
Life may not be the party we each hoped for, but while we’re here, we should dance! Do good deeds … Be Happy … Don’t Worry! Aloha, a hui hou.