Surely there is a good Portagee joke for what is happening with the Paris Climate Accord. A good friend of Frank Delima said to him, “No wonder dey got problems. The word is accordion!”
Oh, one more from da President … Trump has proposed a rule that would allow any employer to deny birth control coverage to women. A doctor friend of mine suggested a better option was testicular surgery! Now I best get off this political garbage, and on to some real laughter!
Eduardo, da Portagee boy, went to UH to learn English. First he learned vocabulary. The teacher said, “Please use ‘tenacious’ in a sentence.” Eduardo thought for a minute, scratched his head and then said, “Ebery morning, before I go to school I bend down and tie my ten-ay-shoos!” The teacher then asked him to use the word “window” in a sentence. Eduardo got that one right away! “Win do we eat?” Finally the teacher said, “Please use the following four words in a sentence: deduct, defense, defeat and and detail!” Eduardo was silent for awhile, then jumped up and said, “De Duck jumped over de fence, de feat before de tail!” (Yep, I know it is an oldie, but maybe you porget!)
A young lady is looking at her check book and says to it, ” I wanna travel” Her check book answers much to her surprise, “Like to the back yard, you mean?”
A young man is talking to his friend and with some excitement says, “I believe the right girl for me is out there, in some corner of the earth! But unfortunately, I know the earth is round!” (Not Portagee!)
A teacher asked her class to use the word “beans” in a sentence. One girl said, “My father grows beans!” “My mother cooks beans,” a boy spoke up. A third student said with a smile, “We are all human beans!”
During a recent power outage a man’s PC, laptop, TV, DVD, iPAD and a new surround system were all shut down. Also his cell phone battery was dead! To make matters worse it was raining so he couldn’t play any golf! As he told this story to a best friend, his friend asked, “So what did you do?” “Well, I decided to go to the kitchen to make some coffee. Darn, the coffee maker requires power, so I just sat down and talked to my wife for a couple hours. You know, she seems like a really nice person!” Ouch!
One last healthy one for all my friends, and then time to close. A friend of mine was a substitute teacher for a second-grade math class that had been learning about groups. In one exercise, pupils were asked to label a group of items according the their common characteristics. Pictured were onion rings, doughnuts, a bundt cake and ring cookies. The correct answer would have been that all the items have holes in the center. But one very health-conscious boy’s response was, “All those things contain way too much cholesterol!” Yes, I know … I am a physician and very interested in your excellent health and laughter therapy!
Until next week … be well … do good deeds … ignore politics! Aloha, a hui hou.