Hope you all (y’all) had a wonderful 4th holiday and were able to see some over-the-ocean fireworks! Next holiday is Labor Day in early September, so you have plenty of “down time.” I was reminded early this morning that I don’t get “holiday” so best I get started with da “Ha-Ha’s!’
A nursery school teacher was taking a station wagon full of kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children began discussing the dog’s duties. “They use him to keep the crowds back,” said one young boy. “No,” says another, “he’s just for good luck.” A third child brought the argument to a close! “They use the dogs,” she said with certainty, “to find the fire hydrant!”
Just to remind you all that there is value in a good vocabulary: A man called an old MIT classmate and asked what he was doing. He replied that he was working on “Aqua-thermal treatment of certain ceramics, aluminum and steel under a constrained environment!” The friend was very impressed! Upon further inquiring, he learned that his friend was washing dishes with hot water under his wife’s supervision!
Ladies … even blonds … can win quite often! Last year a woman replaced all the windows in her house with expensive double-pane energy efficient kind, and today she got a call from the contractor who installed them. He was calling to complain that the work had been completed a whole year ago, but no payment as yet. She replied to him, “Helllloooooo … just because I am blond doesn’t mean I am stupid. Your sales guy told me that in one year these windows would pay for themselves! Hellllooooo, it’s been a year,” she exclaimed! There was only silence at the other end of the line, so she hung up. He never called back!
Let’s have some “shorties” … Wife to husband: Do you know what a closet is for? Husband: Yes.. A closet is where I hand my clothes when all the door handles are full! … It’s not hard to meet expenses. They’re pretty much everywhere! … During a test: People look up for inspiration. Look down in desperation and left and right for information!
As she slid behind the wheel for her first driving lesson, a man’s daughter couldn’t contain her excitement! “You need to make adjustments so the car is comfortable for you, the driver,” he began. “Now, what’s the first thing you should do?” “Change the radio station,” the daughter said!
Here is one for a really good “ouch” and then we need to close. A young boy is looking through some old family photos and asks his mother, “Who is the guy on the beach with you with all the muscles and curly hair?” “That’s your father!’ the mother responds. “Then who’s that man who lives with us now?” OK, one more “goodie” …
”Old is when … a sexy woman or hunk catches your fancy and your pacemaker opens the garage door! Yep, too close to home!
Be well my friends … do good deeds … Be a go-giver! Aloha … a hui hou.