My focus is always to give you current medical information that has some laughter attached. So try this one … Warning: Do not shampoo your hair in the shower as the shampoo runs down your body when you are rinsing off your hair. I am so happy to give you a health warning that is useful to us all. I should have figured this one out a long time ago but now is good. When I wash my hair, the shampoo runs down my whole body, and printed very clearly on the shampoo label is this warning: For extra body and volume. No wonder I have been gaining weight! I got rid of that shampoo and now I shower with dishwashing soap. Its label reads: Dissolves fat that is otherwise difficult to remove. Problem solved! So if I don’t answer the phone, I’ll be in the shower!
Teacher: What is an island? Student: A piece of land surrounded by water except on one side. Teacher: One side? Student: Yes, on the top!
You definitely want to avoid this tattoo parlor: Eagle? I thought you said Beagle!” … “We’re all out of red, so I used pink!”
”There are two O’s in Bob, right? … I hate it when I get the hiccups!” “Anything else you want to say? You’ve got plenty of room back here. I’ll bet you can tell that this is my first day doing these tattoos!”
You parents will love this next one! … Maggie and her mother were talking. Maggie: “I’ll bet you can’t wait ‘till I’m a teenager !!” Mommy: “Actually I can!” Maggie: “Why?” Mommie: “Because I like you being sweet!” Maggie: “I’ll still be sweet when I’m a teenager. I’ll just have a awkward way of showing it!” (How many bells does that one ring?)
At a 60th High School Reunion, he was a widower and she was a widow. They had known each other a number of years even after high school. This was their 60th anniversary, their spirits were high and the widower was throwing admiring glances across the table and the widow was smiling coyly back. Finally, he picked up the courage to ask her to dance and during the dance he surprisingly ask her to marry him! She thought for about six seconds and responded: ”Yes, yes I will!” The next morning he was very troubled as he could not remember whether she said yes or no. With fear and trepidation he picked up the phone and called her. He admitted how wonderful it was to see her, but admitted his memory was not so good these days. “When I asked if you would marry me, did you say “yes” or “no?” She responded, ”Why, you silly man, yes, yes I will.” She continued, “I’m so glad you called because I couldn’t remember who asked me!”
A few more for us “seasoned” folks … “Old is when getting lucky means you can find your car in the parking lot! … Old is when you don’t care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don’t have to go along! … Old is when you think you have on your new alligator shoes and you’re barefoot! … One more? … Old is when you are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of the police!
Here is one for all you Italian speaking neighbors. Do you know the meaning of Al Vicolo? I didn’t either until I drove to the harbor on Kawaihae Road. Oh yea, now I know da meaning! Yum, yum yum.
Have a great week … do good deeds and be happy! Aloha, a hui hou.