No politics today! Too darn scary. Thus we all need more laughter, so let’s get on with it!
Do you ever wake up, kiss the person sleeping beside you and feel grateful that you are alive? Well, a friend of mine just did that and was told apparently, she would not be allowed on that airline again!
A car hit an elderly Jewish man. The paramedic said, “Are you comfortable?” The man replied, “I make a good living!”
A friend of mine was asking his best buddy where he had been. He replied, “I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport!” Ouch!
Someone stole all my credit cards, but I won’t be reporting it. The thief spends less than my wife did! … Same wife … My wife was at the beauty shop for two hours. That was only for the estimate. She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off! … The doctor called Mrs. Smith saying, “Mrs. Smith, your check came back!” Mrs. Smith replied, “So did my arthritis!” … Patient: “I have ringing in my ears!” Doctor: “Don’t answer it!” … One more personal one? Growing up in Texas, my mother always said I had two choices for dinner — take it or leave it!
A sign in a shoe repair store in Vancouver reads: We will heel you! We will save your sole. We will even dye for you! … On a septic tank truck: Yesterday’s Meals on Wheels! … On an optometrist’s office: “If you don’t see what you are looking for, you’ve come to the right place!” … On a tire shop in San Francisco: ”Invite us to your next blowout!” … On an electrician’s truck in Boston: “Let us remove your shorts!” … At a car dealership: “The best way to get back on your feet — miss a car payment!” … Outside a muffler shop: “No appointment necessary. We hear you coming!” … On a maternity room door: “Push, push, push! … And the best one for last … Sign on the back of a septic tank truck: “Caution — This truck is full of political promises!!”
OK, my friends. Dats it for today! Have a wonderful week, and I hope you saw some of the meteor showers! Aloha, a hui hou.