Sometimes being a doctor is not only dangerous, but not fun! Let’s start with an experience I had last week. A neighbor called me and said, “Doc Shay, I have a serious question.” Of course I said, “How can I help you?” She then said with a bit of panic in her voice, “Well, remember a couple months ago I had a headache and you said it was OK to take a couple aspirin. Then about a month after that I call you with a backache and you said it would be OK to take a couple aspirin. Then I saw you after that awful tennis game and I had a stiff neck and shoulder pain. So, again you said I could take two aspirin. Well, listen now because I am so worried! This morning I almost ran over a kid crossing the street and I slammed on my brakes, sending my body against the steering wheel. Afterward I had a headache, back pain, stiff neck and shoulder pain. So, I took two aspirin for each symptom all at once, a total of eight. Was that OK?” I told her she would probably have an upset stomach and the best thing would be for her to empty her stomach. She then said, “Oh I forgot to tell you that I threw up all the aspirin about 15 minutes after I took them.” Yep folks, for some people the elevator does not go to the top floor!
Now for some “shorties” … Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. They have experienced pain and bought jewelry! … My sports-obsessed ex-wife didn’t ask me for a divorce. She told me she was trading me for a player to be named later. … Two strands of DNA are walking down the street. One says to the other, “Do these genes make me look fat?” … Sign outside a church: “Whoever stole our AC units, keep one because it is very hot where you are going!” And one last favorite … Be the kind of person your pet thinks you are!
After registering for his high school classes, a son burst into the house, filled with excitement. “Dad,” he announced in one breath, “Got all my classes I wanted. But I have to have my school supplies by tomorrow. I need a protractor and compass for geometry, a dictionary for English, a dissecting kit for biology … and a car for driver’s ed! … Smart kid.
A smarty-pants teen was bragging to his friends, (yep, the kid in the last joke) He says, “I have really good eyesight! Even in the dark, I can see things that are far away! One friend responds, “Really, like what things?” “Well,” smarty pants answers, “Like the moon and the stars!”
One last one for the parents of teens: A teenage boy with spiked hair, a nose ring and baggy clothes was overheard telling a friend, “I don’t really like to dress like this.” “Then why do you?” asked the friend. He replied, “It keeps my parents from dragging me everywhere with them!”
Aloha my friends. Be Well … be kind … do good deeds. Aloha … a hui hou.