Hope you are having a great day! If not, keep reading and I promise things will change!
A young 8-year-old girl, Yasmin, was given a homework assignment which left her parents and many others scratching their heads, but a few smiling wildly. The worksheet asked students to write the word for “hospital lady.” Yep, you read it right: hospital lady! Yasmin responded with the ultimate amazing response: “Surgeon!” (Now there is one smart kid! And yes, I am biased. You know that!)
Hope you like puns. I have some great ones coming next! … The roundest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi. … I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian! … She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still! … A rubber band pistol was confiscated from an algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption! … One more and pau! … Don’t join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects!
A child psychologist had twin boys. One was an optimist, the other a pessimist. Just to see what would happen, on Christmas Day he loaded the pessimist’s room with toys and games. In the optimist’s room he dumped a pile of horse droppings. That night the father found the pessimist surrounded by his gifts and crying. “What’s wrong?” the father asked. “I have a ton of game manuals to read, I need batteries and my toys will all eventually get broken!” Passing the optimist’s room, the father found him dancing for joy around the pile of droppings. “Why are you so happy?” he asked. The boy shouted, ”There’s got to be a pony in here somewhere!”
Now one for we seniors! Auntie Gladys bought herself a new rear-engine Continental car. She took her old friend, Sally, for a spin. After only a half of a mile, the car stalled and quit. Both women got out and opened up the front hood. “Oh Gladys,” said her friend, “you’ve lost your engine!” “Never mind, dear,” said Auntie, “I’ve got a spare one in the trunk!”
Holiday shopping tip: To save money, buy all your gifts at the “It’s The Thought That Counts” department!
The six people who just emerged from NASA isolation experiment have asked to be shut in again until at least November 2020! Duh!
On this recent Halloween my neighbor answered his bell ringing only to find this plain but very well dressed kid, saying, “Trick or treat!” The man asked the kid what he was dressed up as. The kid replied, “I’m an IRS agent!” Then he takes 40 percent of the man’s candy, leaves and doesn’t say thank you. But from the street he says, “See you next year!”
The latest: Finnish scientists have found that sustained aerobic exercise may be the most beneficial for brain heath! At least in rats! LOL.
Almost time to close … just a few more: Honk if you love Jesus. Text while driving if you want to meet him! And the Golden Rule of our age: Tweet others as you would like to be tweeted!
Remember, my friends, life is easy. It’s the people who make it difficult. Be well … aloha … a hui hou …