Aloha friends and “others” … ”No,” I said there will be no jokes about the false alarm. Ya gotta be kidding me!
To get his mind off his loosing streak at the race track, this man took his friend horseback riding. Being a novice, he freaked when his horse took off! “How do I get it to slow down?” he yelled at his friend. “Bet on it!” his friend hollered back while laughing so loud!
Some great advise I got from a banker friend: “Always borrow money from a pessimist … They never expect it back!
From a passenger ship one can see a bearded man on a small island who is shouting and desperately waving his hands. “Who is it?” a passenger asks the captain. “I have no idea. Every year when we pass, he goes mad like that!”
OK, this next one is for any of you traveling in the near future … The real meaning of hotel signs: Old World Charm, No bath! … No extra fees, no extras! …
Nominal fee. Outrageous charge! … Superior. One extra shower cap! … All the amenities. Two free shower caps. … And the grand finale: Plush. Top and bottom sheets!
Kids are da best with their sense of humor. How about this one … “I thought I told you to keep eye on your cousin,” the mother said. “Where is he?” “Well,” her son replied thoughtfully, “if he knows as much about canoeing as he thinks he does, he’s out canoeing. If he knows as little as I think he does, he’s out swimming!”
More smart kids? “Guess what?” yelled a high school boy as he burst through the kitchen door. “I got a 100 on the Spanish quiz that I didn’t even know we were having!” “That’s great,” his mother said. “But why didn’t you know about he quiz? ”Because our teacher told us about it in Spanish!”
OK, all you parents of college students this one is for you: Did you hear about the banker who was recently arrested for embezzling $100,000 to pay for his daughter’s college education? As the policeman, who also had a daughter in college, was leading him away in handcuffs, he said to the banker, “I have just one question for you. Where were you going to get the rest of the money you needed?”
A barber had a reputation for being very generous with “free haircuts.” A Congressman came in for a haircut and when he tried to pay his bill, the barber said, “I cannot accept any money. I’m doing community service this week!” The Congressman was smiling as he left he shop. The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen Congressmen lined up waiting for a free haircut! My friends, that illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the politicians! Yep, you have known this for a very long time!
Aloha … Be well … a hui hou.