Aloha my friends! Time for your weekly therapy, so get those “belly shakes” ready! With religious holidays around the corners these LOLs should fly.
A Reverend got pretty frustrated with the teens in his Bible study class, especially when a “smarty” one asked if the epistles were emails from God!
A young boy was attending his first wedding. After the service, his young cousin asked him, ”How many women can a man marry?” “Sixteen,” the boy said with certainty. His cousin was amazed that he had an answer so quickly. “How do you know that?” he asked. “Easy,” the boy said. “All you have to do is add it up, like the pastor said, “Four better, four worse, four richer, four poorer!”
A church bulletin blooper is a definite LOL … “The agenda was adopted, the minutes were approved and the financial secretary gave a grief report!”
OK, one more? A minister was flying to California when the plane hit some bad turbulence. Passengers bounced in their seats, drinks went flying and babies and adults alike were crying. The pilot came on the intercom to reassure them it would be brief. A flight attendant who knew the minister crawled on the floor, looked up at him and begged, “Reverend, everyone is already praying to be saved. Is there something else you can do?” The minister thought for a moment, then reached into the seat pocket, removed the barf bag, opened it slowly and took up a collection!
An angry wife was complaining about her husband spending so much of his free time in a bar! So, one night he took her along with him. “What’ll you have?” he asked. “Oh, I don’t know. The same as you I suppose,” she replied. So the husband ordered a couple of Jack Daniels and threw his down with one shot! His wife watched, then took a sip from her glass and immediately spit it out! “Yuck, that’s terrible,” she sputtered. “I don’t know how you can drink this stuff!” “Well, there you go,” cried the husband, “and you think I’m out enjoying myself every night!”
Now for those of you who from time to time share “senior moments” with me: You are having a senior moment when … you use the word “autopsy” instead of “biopsy” when telling your friend you’ll hope for a good report! … Ordering your fast food lunch from a drive-through bank teller! … and the grand finale … Going outside to take your dog for a stroll and then realizing that you brought the leash but forgot to grab Fido!
That’s it for this week my friends. Be well, volunteer, give to the needy and smile often! Aloha, a hui hou.