Two more weeks and one day! Yep, then it will be Election Day! Is there something funny about that? If you don’t vote, the results are likely to be hilarious! The right to vote is precious … almost sacred. Soooo, do it!
Now, da bossy ole lady gonna tell some jokes for you. So LOL!
“How was your golf game?” Jack’s dear wife asked. “Well, I was hitting pretty well, but with my bad eyesight I couldn’t always see where the ball went.” “Well,” she replied, “you are 75 years old! Why don’t you take my brother Scott along?” Jack protested,”But he’s 85 and doesn’t play anymore.” She replied, ”But he’s got new glasses and perfect eyesight!” So, the next day, Jack tees off with Scott watching! “Did you see it?” asked Jack. “Yep,” replied Scott. “Well, where is it?” yelled Jack peering off in the distance! “Sorry Jack, but now I forgot,” said Scott! (Love your elders!)
Now for some great “one-liners.” A man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation for a local swimming pool. So, I gave him a glass of water! … I went to a really emotional wedding today. Even the cake was in tiers! … My wife and I were happy for 20 years. But then we met! … How do prisoners call each other? On their cell phones! … Claustrophobic people are more productive thinking outside the box! … The stripper was getting tired of the same old thong and dance! … OK, a couple more? What’s the best time to go to the dentist? Tooth-hurtie! (pathetic) … and my favorite: Sleeping comes so naturally to me that I can do it with my eyes closed!
Yep, I’m still in my doctoring mode. So, a recent CDC study found that 37 percent in the U.S. had eaten fast food in the previous 24 hours. Don’t get mad, email McDonald’s. Not all fast food is unhealthy, just most of it!
About time to close with a goodie! There was a woman who was sick of all the blonde jokes, so she decided to do a “make-over.” She cut and dyed her hair and brightened her make-up. The next day she was driving down a country road and came across a herd of sheep. She yelled at the sheep herder, “If I can guess the exact number of sheep in your flock, can I take one?” “Sure,” said the man. The woman looked at the herd and said “382!” “Wow,” said the man, “that’s exactly right. You pick out the sheep you want and take it home.” So, she picked out one and put it in her car. The herder then said, “OK, I have a proposition for you. If I can guess the real color of your hair, can I have my dog back?”
Hope you have had some LOLs today! Be well, do good deeds … A hui hou.