KAINALIU — Filling Lanakila Church and overflowing onto the lanai out front, friends and loved ones of Deborah “Debby” Wiley came together from throughout the community, state and country in song and remembrance to celebrate the life of the woman who impacted so many in so many ways.
“The core and heart of Debby was simple: genuine caring, compassion, kindness, honesty and courage,” said Janice Caravalho, who worked with Wiley in public health for 13 years. “What more would a working nursing unit and the people of West Hawaii want for public health nursing leadership?”
Debby Wiley, who was living with Alzheimer’s disease for more than 10 years, wandered from her Captain Cook home on May 13.
Her disappearance sparked a search throughout the region for the woman, a retired public health nurse. The family said in July that her missing person case had been marked as inactive.
On Saturday, those who knew her gathered at the church to celebrate the woman through music and memories.
Among the music was the Gabby Pahinui Hawaiian Band’s “Moonlight Lady,” performed by Debby Wiley’s sons Justin and Christopher Wiley.
It’s a song, they said, that was a part of their childhood.
“For me, there’s a number of songs in my own upbringing, that they’re just classics,” Justin Wiley said. “They kind of define some of your childhood memories; they’re like the soundtracks of your childhood memories. And that is one them, I think, because it probably made my dad think of his lady.”
It was also the literal soundtrack to a home video Christopher Wiley recalled his dad had made that featured Debby Wiley driving their truck up the mountainside and working in the garden.
“I, of course, have those memories of my mom too, first-hand, growing up with her,” he said. “And seeing them in the video with that song, kind of burns that song into my mind. Whenever I hear that song, I think of my mom.”
It was also the song he danced with his mother to at his wedding.
“And so I couldn’t have picked any other one,” he added, “because that’s just the song that I associate with my mom.”
Caravalho, a retired South Kona public health nurse, shared remembrances from several of Wiley’s former co-workers from her time in public health. Many remarked on the woman’s compassion and patience with not only those she cared for, but also for those with whom she worked and supervised.
“Working with Debby felt like a family — a working family,” Caravalho said. “And like all families, we had good and fun times, challenging, stressful moments and times where we had to agree to disagree. But the core values amongst all of us were respect, genuine caring and kindness for each other.”
Christopher Wiley said it was “eye-opening and really good to hear” the stories of his mother’s professional life and the impact she had on people outside their home.
“It was just great to see that she was able to accomplish so much and have such a positive effect on so many people,” he said, “the side of her career that I never got to see.”
Following the service, Jim Wiley, Debby Wiley’s husband, said the day’s service was not only for Debby, but also for the community that gave of themselves after Debby went missing.
“It’s heartwarming that folks came from so many places to honor Deb’s life,” he said, “and that the intention for the service was of course to honor Deb’s life, but also as a ‘thank you’ to the community that was so supportive when we were back in the search stage.”
Outside the church, Christopher and Justin Wiley too remarked on the crowd that filled Lanakila Church on a Saturday morning as well as all of those who rallied around the family in recent months.
“This is just one small portion of it,” said Christopher Wiley. “The whole effort of searching for my mom back in May, there’s nothing I can ever do to say ‘thank you’ enough to everyone who was involved.”
Reflecting on the morning’s service, Justin Wiley said it was a reminder of the love his mother had for others and the love others have shown back.
“There’s a number of things, emotions that come to mind, but really just seeing people’s love for my mom,” he said. “And when you see that slideshow … and hearing the stories of the public health nurses that she worked with, that she impacted their lives, it really reminds me of the great love she had that has impacted people.”
“And I just feel gratitude,” he added. “It is Thanksgiving, after all.”