Do you believe in magic? This entire season is built upon the magic and power of that which we cannot see, surrounding us with love and cheer. We gather together and sing songs in celebration of the positive energy that created us. Ironically, this is also a time that many people feel in the greatest opposition to peace and merriment. This often comes from the psychology of getting through the holidays, rather than getting to do the holidays.
We are all emotional beings who tend to put extra pressure on ourselves to meet some sort of expectation of being all things to all people. We have friends and family who we want to create holiday memories with, yet we can become so attached to the outcomes of our efforts that we forget to have fun along the way. I encourage you to be aware of how you are feeling and be more responsive to that which keeps your spirit bright.
Decorations, gifts and music are here to lift us up, but trying too hard to make things perfect can result in lower spirits. On top of this, family care partners often feel extra pressure during the holidays as they try to smooth out the rough edges that come with the situation. They aren’t just caring for ailing family members, they’re also trying to keep traditions going that may be better left alone considering the new dynamics at play.
As loved ones unite for festive occasions, this could be a great time to communicate the truth about our life situations. Awareness is the first step towards that which brings us fulfillment. Others can’t help with what they don’t know is a problem and progress is only made with effort. Setting your intention on finding that which would feel good to you will help you figure out what you need to ask for. Help with the caregiving, supportive guidance to help you along the way or other means of support can help you find a path of less resistance.
The lesson that my personal life coach has helped me learn is that it is very important to do less wherever you can when feeling overwhelmed. It’s so simple, yet I personally tend to try to do more in order to get a handle on the chaos when the best thing I can do is ease the pressure to do it all at it’s very best. Then I have the mental space to love myself and allow things to fall into their imperfect places. Running around trying to catch every “ball” tossed my way only leaves me tired, frustrated and unproductive.
During this season, I hope things will come together for all of you. May you open the door to the magic of positive energy which fills life with well-being and optimism. Whatever situation you may be in, please appreciate all of your efforts along with those who lift you up. We may not build many snowmen here in Hawaii, but establishing a personal base of awareness, honesty and appreciation will hopefully lead us to the jolly soul of Frosty and the wisdom of the three kings. Happy Holidays!
Karyn Clay is a gerontological specialist who began caring for older adults in 1994 and earned her B.A. in gerontology from SDSU in 1998. She founded Ho’oNani Day Center in 2002 and Ho’oNani Care Home in 2015, which are located on the same property in Kamuela.