Aloha LOL friends, time to start with a short chuckle and then to the major LOLs.
A couple are sitting at their table in a fancy restaurant when the waitress comes to welcome them and asked if they would like to start with an appetizer.
The wife quickly says, “we don’t eat eggs, meat, fish, dairy, or gluten. What would you recommend?”
The waitress, without a smile responds: “A taxi!”
My friend and I were talking about marriage as she had just tied the knot. She smiled and said: “You know, Shay, I love being married. It is so great to find that special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life!” (Ouch!)
Now that we are on the subject … In every good marriage it helps sometimes to be a little deaf.
One more?
With no warning, a husband says to his wife: “Honey, I’ve invited a friend for dinner tonight.”
As expected, the wife is not happy and replies: “What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I haven’t gone shopping, the dishes are dirty and I don’t feel like cooking a fancy meal tonight!”
The husband says: “I know all that!” With an incredulous look the wife says: “Why in the world then did you invite your friend for dinner?
The husband answers: “Because the poor fool is thinking about getting married!” (no more da kine)
A new manager spends a week at his new office with the manager he is replacing. On the last day the departing manager tells him: “I have left 3 numbered envelopes in the desk drawer. Open an envelope if you encounter a crisis you can’t solve.”
Three months down the track there is a major drama and everything seems to go wrong. So, remembering the parting words of his predecessor, he opens the #1 envelope. The message inside says: “Blame your predecessor.” He does this and gets off the hook.
About 6 months later, the company has a major dip in sales. So, he quickly opens the second envelope. The message reads: “Reorganize!” He does this and the company quickly rebounds.
Three months later at the next major crisis, he opens the third envelope. The message reads: “Sorry, time to prepare your three envelopes.”
A sign outside a Methodist Church in Texas reads: “Adultery is a sin! You can’t have your Kate and Edith too.”
Yep, best I close with only one more before I am really in trouble.
A friend asked me to repeat this one: WEIGHT? Oh, so much talk these days. A recent study has found that women who carry extra weight live longer than the men who mention it!
Aloha, do good deeds … a hui hou.
Shay Bintliff, MD, writes a weekly column, Laughter Therapy, for West Hawaii Today. It used to run in North Hawaii News section, which is no longer printed.