It’s Aloha Friday for me as I look for ways to improve your laughter for the day. The critical question for your day is: Are we really fighting two pandemics: Coronavirus and stupidity??? I would love to hear your answers.
Now, with so many sporting events being cancelled, they’re having to televise the World Origami Championship. Yep, it’s on Paperview. (Gotcha with that one).
A priest, a rabbit and a minister walk into a bar. The rabbit says: “I might be a typo!” (Yes…read it again!)
Now, I am sick and tired of people complaining about $7 beers, $10 parking, and a $20 cover charge. If you don’t like the prices, stop coming to my house!!
Having coffee with a doctor friend and associate, he says while talking about relationships, “Whenever my wife uses the phrase “I was thinking”…OMG…that means to me that I either have to build, paint or buy something new. Another doctor in the group says: “How do I get my wife to even think like that? I love to paint, build and shop for new adult toys.”
Some special ones for you Lexophiles. (Google it!) ***I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger…then it hit me! ***A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail! ***When a clock is hungry, it goes back for seconds!….***A bicycle can’t stand alone, it is two tired. …and the grande finale..***Police were called to a Day Care center where a 3 yr. old was resisting a rest!!
Near closing time with one of my all-time favorites. A man was in his front yard mowing when a neighbor came out of her house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it, slammed it shut and stormed back into her house. A short time later, she comes out again, goes straight to her mailbox, opens it, again slammed it closed and returns to her house. As the man had turned off his mower, she appears again and does the exact same thing…slamming the door of the box. Puzzled by her behavior, the man asked: “Is something wrong?” To which she replies: “There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps saying: ‘YOU’VE GOT MAIL!’
Nope…that’s the end…I get in too much trouble to take it any farther!!
I will close with a couple for all my golfing friends….***Golf Law #10: Don’t buy a putter until you’ve had a chance to throw it! Golf Law # 25: Palm trees eat golf balls! …and the best of all …Golf Law #5: Every time a golfer makes a birdie, they must subsequently make two triple bogeys to restore the fundamental equilibrium to the Universe.
Just to remind all of you that I do not suffer from insanity…..I enjoy every minute of it! As for having a handle on life…I did, but it broke! And being over the hill beats being under it any day. So, make the most of every day you have, even close to tax time. BLAAAH! Aloha…be well…a hui hou