Like all of you in preparation for da storm, my lanai furniture is safely put aside…We have plenty of bottledwater, like 2 years supply, and the fridge is loaded with Vitamin B!!! So lets get to the LOL’s for the week!!
People keep asking, “Is Covid-19 really that serious? LISTEN UP!! Casinos and churches are closed! When heaven and hell agree on the same thing, it’s probably pretty darn serious!!
Sometimes you might feel like no one’s there for you. But, you know who’s always there for you. LAUNDRY!!
Yes, laundry will always be there for you. If not yours…your spouse, your children, your neighbor…when their washing machine is broken!
Two little boys were at a wedding when one leaned over to the other and asked: “How many wives can a man have?” His friend answered: “Sixteen!! Four better…four worse…four richer…four poorer!” “WoW…how canany man handle that many.”, replied his friend. “Oh well…hopefully not all at the same time!!”
So…if a cow doesn’t produce milk…is it a milk dud or just an udder failure??
WARNING: There is an e-mail going around offering processed pork, gelatin and salt in a can. If you get this e-mail DO NOT OPEN……It’s SPAM!!
A very clever roadside sign seen in Australia: WEATHER BOARD: (written beneath)..**If this board is wet, it is raining. **If this board is white, it is snowing. **If this board is shaking, it is windy. **If this board is dry, it is a drought. **If this board is shaking…Earthquake!! **If this board is gone..it’s a CYCLONE!!
Standard part of history taking in a patient is the question: “Do you have any allergies?” A middle aged man I was seeing in the ER replied to me: “I’m allergic to alcohol.” I replied: “Oh really, tell me.” “Yep”, he said “ Every time I drink it I break out in handcuffs.” ???one more.
Another patient in the ER is telling me that his private doctor had given him 3 days to give up drinking. He then says: “So, I’ve picked the 5th of June, July 17 and October 9th!! Just couple more…then ‘aloha’….
Knock-Knock…Who’s there?? A little ole lady. A little ole lady who? I didn’t know you could yodel!! Yep just keep trying…you’ll get it, I promise!! *** What’s a bat’s favorite dessert?? Upside down cake!! (??pathetic)
A shop assistant fought off an armed robber with his labelling gun. Police are now looking for a man with a price on his head! And…that’s it for today, my friends!! Be safe…wear that mask and weather da storm.
Aloha…..a hui hou