Be careful out there
As the COVID-19 pandemic recedes and we begin to welcome the world back to our beautiful beaches, I expect an epidemic of another kind as tourists innocently try to emulate their social media idols. I am therefore writing to make others aware of a new class of ailment called Flaunting-Related Injury (FRI).
FRI was first observed among a small subset of particularly attractive, bikini-clad people, such as Salma Hayek and Elizabeth Hurley, who began flaunting back in the 1990s, long before the advent of social media. Today, though, ubiquitous photo-sharing apps such as Instagram and Facebook and Snapchat make it possible for average people to flaunt.
According to medical experts, FRI is characterized by chronic sprains and strains of the muscles and ligaments involved in showcasing one’s swimsuit-clad body, or flaunting, in a manner calculated to result in the most appealing and revealing (but not quite pornographic) photograph. The severity of FRI depends on such factors as degree of arching of the spine, speed and degree of saucy cocking of the hip, and height obtained during exuberant leaps skyward in a fully-extended splits position. Secondary to FRI are minor injuries such as sunburn, grit-knee from kneeling on the beach, and HCPS, or Hermit Crab Pinch Syndrome, resulting from assuming a full lotus position in a bikini, with shoulders thrown back fetchingly, while unknowingly sitting upon the subterranean hiding places of the reclusive (hence the name) yet territorial creatures.
Injury can be avoided by not flaunting at all. However, if you must flaunt, experts recommend doing so only in the early morning or the evening when the rays of the sun are less intense, wearing knee pads, and checking the area for crabs before flaunting.
Please, be careful out there!
Christopher Jones
Kailua-Kona
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Ige needs to sign AVR bill
The ideals of our democracy were attacked on Jan. 6, 2021 at the U.S. Capitol. As a fourth-generation Japanese-American citizen born and raised in Hawaii, I never imagined in my wildest dreams that our democracy could be so fragile or that our country would be so divided.
People elect legislators and governors who have the power to pass or kill voter registration bills. The people of Hawaii have the power to modernize our elections by urging Gov. David Ige to sign the Automatic Voter Registration (AVR) Senate Bill 159 into law. AVR removes barriers to register to vote, updates our voter rolls and ensures compliance with the National Voter Registration Act of 1993 and Help America Vote Act of 2002.
Please email david.y.ige@hawaii.gov or call (808) 586-0034 to ask that SB159 be signed into law through a bill signing ceremony before June 21.
Caroline Kunitake
Holualoa
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