The Bright Side: The one day quest

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Once upon a time Kona was not the lively megalopolis that you see today. This may be hard for some of you to believe, but in fact, back then many people referred to our town as Kailua-Coma.

If one had an exciting day catching marlin offshore, boats were cleaned quickly so crews could escape the torpor of Honokohau Harbor. All roads led to Huggo’s because it was one of the few fun places in town that also welcomed salty guys right off their boats.

No fisherman caught fish every day and none had charters every day either, so when crews were broke, Huggo’s was out. Succumbing to the lassitude of Kailua-Coma was out too, so guys looked for things to do for free.

Summer was the busiest season, so crews most often found themselves at leisure in winter. This would often coincide with bird hunting season. As long as someone had a 4×4 with enough gas in it, any old working shotgun and box of shells, hunting was practically free. If there was snow on Maunakea and the vehicle had a bunch of gas in it, then it would be up the mountain to snowboard too. Riding a borrowed board was totally free.

Although happy while on the mountain, invariably someone would need to get home by early afternoon, leaving the rest to risk boredom again. On lucky days, someone might say that they needed to take their boat outside to check for oil leaks or some such, providing a plausible reason for burning the bosses fuel. Of course a couple of lures were slipped over the side. One money fish could vanquish all boredom. Sometimes that would happen. Just as often, it would not.

As they say, necessity is the mother of invention. With snowboarding, bird hunting and fishing so easily accessible, of course someone came up with the idea to see who could successfully do all three sports — all in the same day. Successfully being the key word.

Around here, anyone can go to the snow, hike around the mountain and go fishing all in the same day. But to do it successfully meant one had to ride a specific snowboard run without falling, then drop down the hill to Kilohana and shoot at least one pheasant. But to be king, you had to be the first to do those two things and then you had to go out and catch a marlin — all in the same day. The One Day Quest was born. Ironman was just starting to take off. Why not this?

Initially, this was just fun stuff hatched up because it was free. However, it soon became clear that very few if any places could offer this same day, trifecta other than the Big Island. That aspect caught on a bit.

The guy who launched the career of Arnold Schwarzenegger got wind of the One Day Quest and it captured his imagination so strongly that he talked editors of high end magazines like Sports Illustrated, Field & Stream and Esquire Sportsman into running coverage of the first winner — if someone would ever actually win. Many tried but nature never cooperated to where all the conditions and animals lined up on the same day. Energized by the thought of becoming the next Arnold, more attempts were made, but eventually the One Day Quest was abandoned for lack of a winner. The very notion was tossed into the Too Hard Basket where it languishes still.

Just because no one ever won the One Day Quest doesn’t mean someone couldn’t win it now. To do a One Day Quest today, it would make sense to employ a few simple rule updates matching the contest with what is popular now. Rules could even add more challenges that the Big Island has to offer. Just a few tweaks might insure that the sport will not be lost to the Too Hard Basket.

Picture this: A New One Day Quest could feature the capture of the perfect sunrise selfie by the contestant with the lava flow on Mauna Loa in the background. Extra points if it was a selfie with the contestant posing with a snowboard on Maunakea while the lava flows in the background, across the valley on Mauna Loa. Epic!

From there, a high speed dash down to the hunting area. The contestant would then need to capture a classic bird hunting selfie in a blaze orange vest standing in the weeds with a dog. Any available dog would qualify and of course no birds would be hurt and no gun would be required. Next, contestants would face the challenging new requirement of taking a selfie while drinking champagne and standing near a horse at the Waiki’i Ranch Polo Field.

It would be the final selfie, however, that would truly separate the wheat from the chaff. In order to win the New One Day Quest — on top of successfully completing all the above — the Champ would have to take a selfie on a boat while fishing — at sunset with a green flash in the background.

Who knows? What a group of bored fishermen created while searching for free fun could possibly turn into the next Ironman, as long as it is continually updated for the outdoor types of each generation. Stranger things have happened! Starting an outdoors column with “Once upon a time” is proof of that.