Curious new developments have come to light following last week’s chocolate factory explosion near Redding, PA.
Witnesses, speaking under condition anonymity for the purposes of this article, have emerged who claimed to have seen an unidentified person leaving the area of the explosion just before it occurred. At least three people reported seeing a lone figure in a violet trench coat and top hat, scuttling away from the scene of the disaster shortly after the explosion. The individual is reported to have been seen walking with with a slight limp, apparently needing the aid of some kind of walking stick. A local police bulletin has been released seeking the public’s help in identifying this strangely-clothed man. At this point in time the witness is wanted for questioning in the cause of the explosion, there are no warrants connected with this individual at this time.
In addition the search for the above mentioned person, numerous other strange sightings have rattled the area in the last week. The sightings describe a creature, with almost human-like features, small in stature with reportedly orange-tinted skin. At first glance, some might mistake this humanoid creature for the recently unseated ex-President, however on closer inspection, a notable diffence exists in the creature’s thick green hair and eyebrows. This creature has been seen in numerous locations around the city, with some residents believing there could be a group of the creatures, as some observerss say they have heard them calling to each other with a cry of ‘Oompa -loompa’.
The public is asked for their help. Anonymous tipsters may call the following hotline solely for this case. 1-APR-ILF-OOLS.