Sorry folks, but Trump is in the dumps. What do you expect if 70 percent of Americans don’t like you? Now, where did I get that number? I made it up! One solution: Dump Trump!
One day, a husband says to his wife, “Today is a fine day!” The next day he says it again. “Today is a fine day!” Again the next day, he says the same thing. Finally after a week, the wife asks her husband, “Since last week, you are saying today is a fine day. I am fed up! What’s the matter?” Husband responds, “Last week when we had that argument you said, ‘I will leave you one fine day!’ I was just reminding you!” Yep, and then the fight began…
One spring afternoon, a man came home to find two little girls on the steps of his building. Both were crying hard, shedding big tears! Thinking they might be hurt, he dropped his briefcase and quickly went over to them. “Are you alright?” he asked. Still sobbing, one held up her doll. “My baby’s arm came off!” she said. He took the doll and its disjointed arm and after a few minutes the doll was whole again! “Thank you,” came a whisper from the little girl as he handed it back to her. Next, looking into the tearful eyes of her friend, he asked, “And why are you crying, young lady?” She wiped her cheeks and said, “Oh, I’m OK. I was just helping my friend cry!” Yep folks, kids do know about that stuff!
A woman at the meat counter of her regular grocery store said to the butcher, “I’d like two pork chops. And make them lean!” “Yes ma’am,” the friendly butcher replied with a big smile, as he stood them on end in front of her. “Which way?” (Yep, not the first time I’ll bet!)
What is unconditional love? Try this! A man was standing in front of the bathroom mirror one evening admiring his reflection, when he posed the following question to his wife of 20 years. “Will you still love me when I’m old, fat, and balding?” She answered, “Of course I will, honey. I’ve already been doing it for the past five years haven’t I?” Yep, and it began…
A social worker from New York was recently transferred to the mountains of Georgia. She was on a tour of her new territory when she came upon the smallest cabin she had ever seen. She went up and knocked on the door. “Anybody home?” she asked. “Yep,” came a kid’s voice through the door. “Is your father there?” she asked. “Pa? Nope, he left before Ma came in,” said the kid. “Well, is your mother there?” persisted the worker. “Ma? Nope, she left before I got here,” said the kid. “But,” protested the worker, “are you never together as a family?” “Sure, but not here,” said the kid through the door. “This is the outhouse!”
A friend of mine who lives in Los Angeles is talking to a friend visiting from Texas. The bus is arriving and he says to his friend, “Whenever I see a woman driving a bus I smile and think about how far we, as a society, have come in equality! And then I wait for the next bus!” Ouch!
After much convincing from her husband, Tammy finally agreed to call an old family friend to sing her happy birthday. It was only after she finished singing that a voice at the other end of the line informed her that it was the wrong number. “Oh, I’m so sorry,” she said, embarrassed. “It’s okay,” the voice said, “You need all the practice you can get!”
So, I’ll close with a few very local license plates: TITA-D…don’t cut in front of her!! SMILEE…one happy, happy driver!! TODAMAX…can’t get more local than that! One more? NEVAH-L8…very clever!
Enuff for da day, my friends. Do good deeds … Support you favorite charity, and do community service! Be well … Aloha …. a hui hou.