Dear Annie: I am becoming excessively annoyed by a new trend I’m seeing with my friends who have recently become parents — the “naked mommy.” Dear Annie: I am becoming excessively annoyed by a new trend I’m seeing with my
Dear Annie: I am becoming excessively annoyed by a new trend I’m seeing with my friends who have recently become parents — the “naked mommy.”
I’m 27 and have not yet had children. Several of my friends are having their second or third, but most are on their first. I work in a physician’s office, so I see a lot of medical-related nudity, and it is not a problem for me. But when I check my email, text messages or Facebook page, it is an entirely different story. All of my “mommy friends” are posting pictures of themselves breast feeding or otherwise with everything hanging out for the world to see.
A friend of mine recently posted a very detailed video of the birth of her daughter. Another friend could have fielded a softball team with the number of people who were in the delivery room, including her husband’s male friends. It was weird. My sister, bless her heart, dropped her undies at a friend’s baby shower to show her episiotomy stitches.
I understand going through the process of having a baby makes you inured to being naked. But that doesn’t mean others want to see you in the raw.
I’ve tried telling my friends I have no interest in their breastfeeding and delivery videos, but they say I’m a prude. Am I wrong to think just because you can take a picture of it doesn’t mean you should? — Not a Prude, Just Prudent
Dear Prudent: This is a combination of new mommy pride and the current obsession to publicize every private moment — with a little exhibitionism thrown in.
New parents are often so enamored of their amazing experience they feel compelled to share all the specific details with everyone. We agree they should save the explicit photos, videos and dropped panties (for heaven’s sake) specifically for those who ask to see them.
Dear Annie: A young adult nephew recently sent a letter to family and friends asking for donations to help pay for a summer humanitarian aid trip working as a missionary in a Third World country.
While this person is one of my favorite relatives, I have a problem with this. My idea of fundraising for personal goals is working your tail off at a car wash, not hitting up relatives for money. More importantly, I believe in respecting the religious beliefs of indigenous cultures and providing humanitarian aid with no religious strings attached.
I feel if I raise the first objection, I’ll become the black-sheep “Scrooge” of the family. Raising the second point will offend this nephew’s religious beliefs. My inclination is to send a small donation and keep my mouth shut. What would you do? — Reluctant Contributor
Dear Reluctant: It is not necessary to argue the merits of the trip or your opinion about fundraising. Your choice is simply to donate or not. If you think a small amount will maintain peace in the family and not overly irritate you, it’s a reasonable compromise.
Dear Annie: “Worst Fiance Ever in Toronto” sounds as if he has a lot of remorse about sleeping with his soon-to-be sister-in-law. However, he can’t keep this inside forever.
I really think it’s best for him to come clean and tell his fiancee everything, even though the consequences will most probably be the termination of the engagement and possibly the end of her brother’s marriage. He messed up big time, and even though it will devastate her family, he owes her the truth so she can plan the rest of her life. The sister-in-law is just as guilty and needs to bear the consequences of her actions. — Calling It as I See It in Connecticut
Dear Calling: We agree he should tell his fiancee he cheated. However, naming names and destroying the sister-in-law’s marriage is not so simple, and we don’t recommend it. That should be her decision, not his.
Dear Annie: For 30 years, my cousins and I were good friends. We went places together and had lunches. They seemed to enjoy the gatherings as much as I did.
About three years ago, they stopped calling to make a date, leaving it up to me. Not long after that, I discovered they were meeting with my nieces, but not including me. I didn’t understand the reason, but tried not to let it bother me. Now they are including the nieces’ husbands, and I’m still not part of the festivities.
I am deeply hurt and feel ostracized. Family has always been important to me, and I have strived to be a congenial person. Most people seem to enjoy my company. Do I pretend this is OK, or do I ignore their existence like they do with me? — Outcast
Dear Outcast: We can see how this would be hurtful, but let’s give them the benefit of the doubt. They may simply be waiting for you to schedule the next dinner date and, in the meantime, are enjoying their nieces’ company. Pick up the phone, tell them it’s been bothering you and ask whether there is a problem that can be resolved.
Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Email questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd St., Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie’s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit creators.com.
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