Waves column: Parody of candidates no laughing matter

News flash: Another Democrat threw his hat in the ring. It now brings the field to 72 candidates running for president in 2020.

Candidate No. 72 is Frank Souza from Honokaa. He promises free malasadas, free medical, dental, candy bars and French fries for all. It’s Kachi Kachi music at his rallies. Good luck, Frank!


Last week brought in a string of new candidates.

No. 71 was Sandra Savem from Berkeley. She vows to stop Trump, and will use her campaign funds to buy up all the MAGA hats in the whole country and cram them all into her bedroom closet.

She will declare the border situation an emergency to make Congress fund limousines and buses to drive people across the border. She is proposing a bill to extend the southern U.S. border down to Cabo San Lucas. Good luck, Susan!

Howard Backham, a gay candidate, entered the race on Thursday. A local restaurant is giving free drinks to anyone who supports him. He’s coming out strong in the 2020 race. Go, Howard, go.

He’s number 70 entering the group. The next candidate in line — her number is deleted — is a well-known woman in the news.

Stormy Daniels, former Trump mistress, signed up to run against him as a Democrat because she knows he won’t dare say one snide remark about her because she has all the goods on him. For her campaign slogan she borrowed the Nike saying, “Just Do It!” Good one, Stormy, go girl!

Next is local boy, Kimo Kanaka from Kona. He’s a big fan of Don Ho, plays Tiny Bubbles at his rallies and is filled with aloha. He promises to make the shaka the national hand gesture.

He says he will make everyone in Congress give the shaka and shout “Aloha!”at the beginning of every session. When he wins he plans to have a big luau and will dig an imu on the White House lawn. He has my vote, go for it Kimo!

Seriously folks, these are all caricatures but they might as well be real. The truth is that hardly ever before in our history has here been so many candidates running for president.

There will be close to 20 people running against President Trump, an army of candidates charging the castle. I believe there are two reasons for this.

The first is that many have a burning desire to oust the biggest buffoon to ever disgrace our country and the office of president.


The second reason, ironically, is that if a big buffoon can make it to be president, then shucks, anyone can. Trump lowered the bar. The old saw is true, anyone can be president, so they are crawling out of the woodwork, housewives, senators, lovelorn writers, all looking for their 15 minutes of fame.

Dennis Gregory writes a bimonthly column for West Hawaii Today and welcomes your comments at makewavess@yahoo.com