Aloha Big Island…Now, before you begin today, go wash your hands. OK, now put on your favorite mask. No, do not just cover the mouth…cover nose and mouth both. When laughing this morning, probably best to wear 2 masks because you are going to be moving lots of air in and out of your lungs! LOL..LOL..
We all know that if the schools are close much longer, parents will find a vaccine for COVID-19 before the scientist!!
A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying: “Everyone who thinks they’re stupid, stand up!” After a few minutes, little Kimo stood up. The teacher said, “Do you think you’re stupid, Kimo?” “No, but I just hate to see you standing all alone.”
A foreign student, knowing very little English, was asked to submit an essay about now living in America. This is what she wrote: Title: Englysh is a pane! Hear I sit inn English class and the likelihood is that eye won’t pass. An ‘F’ on my report card wood bee worse than swallowing glass. It’s knot that eye haven’t studied, often till late at knight. Butt the verbs are sew confusing, eye simply can’t get them write. Hour teacher says,”Heed my advice, ewe must study and sacrifice. Butt, if mouses are mice, and louses are lice, how come blouses aren’t blice.Talk about confusion! It is everywhere when adding esses two nouns. Gooses are geese, butt mouses are n’t meese. I think somebody scent in the clowns. (That’s each teach, no more until next week…if I return to school!)
An angry wife was complaining about her husband spending all his free time in a bar. So, one night her took her along with him. “What’ll you have?” he asked her. “Oh, I don’t know . The same as you I suppose.” So, the husband ordered a couple of Jack Daniels and threw his down in one shot. His wife watched, then took a sip from her glass and immediately spit it out. “Yuck..that’s TERRIBLE”, she sputtered.”I don’t know how you can drink this stuff?” “Well, there you go”, cried the husband, “and you think I’m out enjoying myself every night!!”
One more for you married folks!! On their 50th wedding anniversary and during the banquet celebrating it, Susan was asked to give friends a brief account of the benefits of marriage of such a long duration. “Tell us, Susan,just what is it you have learned from all those wonderful years with your husband.” Susan responds, “Well, I’ve learned that marriage is the best teacher of all. It teaches you loyalty, meekness, forbearance, self-restraint, forgiveness, and a great many other qualities you wouldn’t have needed if you had stayed single!! (Ouch!)
Time for some ‘one-liner questions’….
**Why don’t ants get sick? Because they have antibodies.
**Who is a penguin’s favorite relative? Aunt-artica.
**Why did the bee get married? Because he found his honey.
**Why did the frog catch the bus? Because his car got toad.
**Why didn’t the dog want to play baseball? Because he was a Boxer.
**Which dog says “meow”. Police dogs working under cover. …and the grande..
**Why don’t cannibals eat clowns? Because they taste funny! Almost time to say ‘aloha’..?one more?
An older man left his truck and went in to eat at a ’truck stop’. He was sitting at the bar when three bikers walked in. He just turned and looked at them when one walked up and blew smoke in the man’s face, then took a seat. The second man went up to the older man, took his napkin, spit in it and put it back down. The third biker went up to the man, turned his plate upside down ,then took a seat at the counter. Onlookers were shocked at the biker’s behavior, but the old man didn’t seem fazed. Without a word, he quietly put money on he counter and left the diner. Shortly thereafter, one of the bikers said to the waitress,”Humph, not much of a man was he?” The waitress replied: “Not much of a truck driver either. He just backed his big truck over three motorcycles!!”
To close with a note from “Old Maxine”…”I’m in the mood to do some spring cleaning. Apparently cabin fever has made me delirious. So folks..beware of cabin fever!! Stay positive, kind and loving! Aloha..a hui hou
