Gobble-Gobble Day is over and you will tire of turkey sandwiches. But we never tire of those great family and friend gatherings! Also Black Friday is over and it actually starts at 6 p.m. on Thursday. I’m certain you are still exhausted from all the shopping. Your purses and billfolds are empty and you just ran out of space in the “we don’t need it” closet.
• The teacher asks little Johnny if he knows his numbers.
“Yes,” he says. “My Daddy taught me them.”
“OK, tell me what comes after three?”
“Four,” answers Johnny.
“Now, what comes after six?”
“Seven,” answers Little Johnny with a smile.
“Very good,” says the teacher. “Your father did a very fine job. Now, what comes after 10?”
One more from the kids?
• The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic primary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nuns had made a note and put it on the apple tray. “Take only one! God is watching!” Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. One child whispered to another, “Hey, we can take all we want! God is watching the apples!”
Believe it or not!
• Here is a gigantic LOL. Vegans are suing Burger King for advertising the Impossible Burger (supposedly pristine with no meat (beef). But they claim that there always is meat residue on the grills.
• A guy rings his boss and says, “Sorry, I can’t come to work today.”
The boss asks,”Why not? Are you sick?”
The man replies, “It’s my eyes.”
“Why, what’s wrong with your eyes?” asks the boss.
The man says, “I just can’t see myself coming to work today.” (I would not recommend that one.)
Can’t forget our great one-liners today. Yep, I get great feed-back for these.
• Why wasn’t the computer hungry? It had just had a byte.
• Why are calendars so popular? They have a lot of dates.
• Why should a window never laugh? It might crack up.
• What kind of paper do pilots write on? Fly paper. … and the grande finale
• What do lawyers wear to court? Lawsuits!
Cannot close without reminding all of you that President Trump pardoned two turkeys, named Bread and Butter. As he did this he claimed that there are people who don’t want to use the name Thanksgiving. Did he have a better one? Not on your life! Hope all is well, Do good deeds, a hui hou.
Shay Bintliff, MD, writes a weekly humor column for West Hawaii Today.